All in a day's work...

I went to a funeral today.  We were in Hempstead, a place that we lived from 1997-2004.  We raised our kids there.  We became a part of the community.  I had different jobs while we lived there and I  grew a lot.  Kyle was the student minister at First Baptist Church for 7 years.  It was a time we cherish.

Back to the funeral.  After the service was over, a lady approached me.  She said "Oh my goodness, I was just talking about you two days ago!".  I will be honest...she looked familiar, but I did not know who she was.  I did the best I could to hide this fact and allowed her to continue.  She went on to say that she had been sharing a story with someone earlier just this week about a time that I called her.  She said "When you told me that my sister had CANCER, I was just crushed."  This was helping me narrow down the circumstances of my involvement with her...must have been while I worked at the Brenham Clinic.  She went on to say that the thing that stood out most to her about that call was that she had been so upset that I actually interrupted her to ask "Ma'am, may I just pray with you right now?".  She said that that prayer helped her focus on what was important and to realize that God was in control.  Her sister is doing well, now 12+ years later.  She was so thankful, she said, that I was there for her when she needed me most.   I was very humbled by her sweet words!

You know the part of this story that puzzles me?  I don't remember it.  I don't remember comforting her.  I dont' remember praying for her.  I don't specifically remember her sister even coming into the office where I worked at the time.  I talked to Kyle about it as we left the church.  I could not understand why the events didn't stick in my mind, when they were so vividly engrained in hers.  After thinking about it for a while, though, I came to this conclusion:  Our ministry to others should be such a natural and normal part of our daily lives that we won't remember each specific time God uses us.  Bottom line is, I don't have to remember it.  She does, God does, and I was obedient when He asked me to be.  It was all in a day's work, I guess.

Brevity...

I know what you are thinking..."I know you...I talk to you (or listen to you)...you do not know anything about brevity.  You take a million words to make a single point.  Brevity is not your thing."  And, you would be right.  Brevity (concise and exact use of words in writing or speech) is not my strong suite.  But brevity, in relation to the shortness of time, is something I am becoming an expert on.  Here are some recent examples:

• Hannah is a senior.  Time is going by way to fast.  We are making plans for college, talking about careers and  a million other things that go along with her growing up and becoming an adult.  Time is short...
• Kyle and I were just married the other day, but in a few months  we'll somehow be married for 30 years.   Time moves fast...
• Yesterday,  a friend let me know that a child in her community just didn't wake up that morning.  He was only 17.  He had all of the same plans the rest of his classmates have- fun senior year, graduate, and college.  And now, those plans are all over.  More time is not promised...

I know  this about time, but somehow I forget it again and again.  I know that it is short, that it moves fast and that it isn't promised.  I know these things, but I act as though I have tons of time, guaranteed, and that each moment and situation will last and won't ever change.  I take it for granted.  I am like everyone else in this, I  am sure.  

Once in a while, I am just overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude for the time I do have.  I look around and just  feel extreme thankfulness for the people God has put around me to spend this brief life with.  My husband, my children, our families, our church family ...precious people, every one of them.  God designed each of them to fit into my life in just the capacity they are there.   Wouldn't trade a one of them!

So, back to this idea of brevity.  Life is so short.  Soak it up...one moment at a time.  Life moves so fast...don't miss it.  Life isn't promised.  Love those God gave you.  Don't take any of this for granted.  Time is short....

Be blessed!!

Flying again...and thinking.

When I fly, I have a lot of time to think. This week is no exception. My mind is racing with thoughts of family, church stuff, work stuff, business stuff, life stuff.   Today I am rereading my blog posts and asking God for a different answer to the same question. I do this a lot.  I watch movies I have seen before and actually expect there to maybe be a different outcome.  Dumb I know, just the way my brain works.  Dangerous too...

God has closed a "door" in my life that I continue to approach and listen at.  I continue to wonder what might be behind it.  I can almost feel myself getting down on my hands and knees, the side of my face on the cool floor, trying to peek underneath the door and see what might be coming.  I continue to think that maybe someday He will open it again. He showed me a while back that this door is definitely not open for now and might not be  ever.  He showed me other doors and I thought that was good, but then they closed too. I know it is foolish on my part to keep hanging around this idea and to think it could work.  I just do.  

Help me focus Father.  Help me wait on your plan.  Help me do Your will, not try to accomplish my own. 

Senior Year

In less than a month, school will start again.  In less than a month, my youngest, Hannah, will be a senior.  In less than a month, my last little bird will begin spreading her wings in preparation for her solo flight.  I am not sure I am ready for that.

In less than a year, I will be making plans to take Hannah to the college of her choice.  I am still not sure where that will be.  She is not totally sure where that will be.  God already knows.  In less than a year, so many of the questions that I have not will be history already.  Will she be in the homecoming court?  Who will she be dating?  What type of dress will she wear for prom?  Who will she go with?  What will her senior overalls look like (if that makes no sense to you, ask me later!)?  In less than a year, all of those questions will answered.  New questions will take their place.  What will she study?  Who will be the people that will influence her?  Will she follow in the footsteps of her sister and brother and become the final Childress kid to work for Student Life?  So much remains unseen.

I remember so well when Hannah was born.  I remember the pride that her sissy and bubba had when showing her off to people.  I remember the cute little clothes she wore.  I remember the many, many days that I would pick her up from Children's Choice Daycare.  She was Mrs. Jan's baby, the church's baby, the youth group's baby...everybody loved that kid!

I have watched my daughter grow into a confident young woman.  I have watched her be submissive to God's leadership in her life, even when it meant giving up things and people she loved.  I have watched God call her into Christian service.  I am watching her work through that calling, deciding what that will look like in her life.  I have seen her struggle, I have seen her cry, I have seen her decide and stand firm.  I know she is capable of whatever God has called her to do in the future.

All of this starts when school starts...in less than a month.  Senior year- here we come.  Ready, or not.

Meeting Dawn...

I have been at the pastor's conference in Jacksonville, Florida with our whole church staff.  Kim (dayschool and preschool), Andrew (youth), Candyce (children), Taylor (brand new music minister), Kyle (pastor/my hubby), and myself...together from Wednesday until sometime tonight when we finally get home.  6 days that went really well.  Yesterday, Candyce and I decided that we would get our nails done after we all ate lunch, since there was some down time during the schedule at the pastor's conference.  I should say that I usually don't have ever my nails done anymore.  Candyce wanted a pedicure and  I just wanted shellac.  Spur of the moment plan that seemed simple enough.

The rest of the group went to REI,  and some sporting goods store as they waited for us. Candyce and I walked in and let the lady at the front know what we wanted.  Everyone seemed friendly, they got us seated pretty quickly, and we both waited for our nail technicians to begin working on us.  Candyce was in a pedicure  chair and her young lady arrived first.  I was apparently waiting for a lady at the next table.  She was putting bright yellow polish on the nails of a girl that walked in about the same time.  I was not in a hurry, since I knew mine would take less time.  I tried to play on my phone, but it was basically dead.  Guess that eliminates that option as a time killer.  Eventually, the girl beside me was all painted up and it was my turn.

Dawn, as I came to know her, was a very pretty 60ish lady originally from Vietnam.  She put my hands in some very odd heating pad / glove things and gathered her supplies.  She and I talked, as I try to do when in this type of situation, about the shape I wanted my nails, the weather, and where I was from.  She got really excited when I told her "From Texas, near Houston".  Turned out, she used to live in Texas, Houston area too.  She named many places that were familiar to me.  She and her then husband (now  gone for 7 years) would go into an area, open and establish a nail shop,  and then sell it for a profit.  They had stores in the Woodlands, Sugarland, Cypress, La Grange, Athens...lots of places.  She said that she missed her husband and that her life had changed a lot since he had passed away.  She spoke English pretty well, understood it pretty well too.  She asked me if I had children, and I explained that I did.  She asked why I was in Florida and I told her that too.  I told her that I was not a pastor, but that my husband was.  I do this when I don't know the other person's background.  Some churches may  have this, but I don't want anyone to think I am one.  I am not called to be a minister, nor am I gifted to be one.  As soon as I told her that my husband was a pastor, she got excited again.  She reached out and touched my arm, asking "Oh, are you Baptist????"  Yes..."Oh, I am too!! AND I LOVE THE LORD AND JESUS!!!"  Her response was soooo refreshing.  When is the last time anyone said that to you?  Never would be my answer.  I knew I was going to like this lady.

We began to share information and experiences. She talked about her faith in very simple but very sincere terms.   She told me about how thankful she was every day that Jesus was her saviour.  She told me about her son, Vin, and how he is not a believer.  "He knows about Jesus, but he does not live for Him or have Him in his heart" she said.  I told her I would agree with her in prayer that this would go from "head" knowledge to "heart" knowledge.  She told me that her husband had become a believer before he died.  She knows she will see him again, although she misses him so much today.  She told me how she used to seek after money and more money when they were opening so many stores and selling them.  She said that now she knows that this world is not her home and that this life is temporary.  She does not desire the things of this world anymore.  I asked her if she owned the store we were in.  She said, "No...I just work now.  I want to have time to be with my family and to study my bible.".  "Besides, she said...what do I need that stress for?  My peace and hope is in my Jesus."   Wow...

At some point, she looked me in the eye and said, "God sent you to me today, I just know it!"  I was very humbled by this. While I know it is true that God has me cross paths with many people in any given day, no one has ever said that to me before.

Pretty soon, Candyce and I were both done.  My bill was small and I had extra cash which I felt compelled to leave Dawn as a tip.    The young lady that did Candyce's nails brought her to the front and showed Candyce's little pregnant belly off to the apparent manager of the salon.  "Doesn't she just have the cutest little pregnant tummy?" and both agreed.  I said, "That is baby Allie...we prayed for her for a long time!"  Candyce said "Yes, that is so true, I had multiple miscarriages before finally being able to carry this baby".  The manager said something that I remember well- "When you trust and ask Jesus for the things you want, He will give them to you".  Not prosperity gospel, but it reminded me of the verse in Psalm 37:4 that says "Delight yourself in The Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart".  Candyce told her that this was true for her and that this seemed to work out when she committed her life to The Lord fully.

I gave Dawn a hug as we left the nail salon.  "I will see you again someday" I told her as I walked out.  Made me think of that old saying "I'll see you here, there, or in the air" referring to the rapture.  Not sure how long that will be, but I know I will see her again.  Thankful for this brief encounter with another sister in Christ.  AND my nails look awesome!  Be blessed!!

Caught me totally by surprise...

We have been in Jacksonville Florida at the Pastor's conference all weekend.  Each day has brought new messages and wonderful music.  The 18 hour drive here has really been worth it , although I might tell you differently Monday night when we finally get home.

This morning brought a great message by Paige Patterson on Hosea.  Each time we begin a worship session, we start with music, have a sermon, have more music and then a second sermon.  Dr. Patterson's  message was followed by a really fantastic time of worship.  Amazing renditions of familiar hymns...I guess the songs made me go back emotionally to a time when I was a child and these were the normal things you would sing on Sunday mornings.  As is always true with my mind, one place then leads me to another place and other memories.  One by one, they took me to a place I usually try to avoid- my dad.

I have blogged many times about how much I have always had a strained relationship with him.  I had little or no respect for him as a child and as a young adult.  He did not treat my mother well  He  did not provide for our family well.  He was a failed pastor of tiny churches that always had turmoil.  These are the things that I always believed about him.  I have not necessarily changed my mind about these situations, but I have  come to question my perception a little.

The words of the song aren't important, but at some point God  brought my dad to my mind.  Today, my dad is in a nursing home.  He has not been on his feet or walked in almost 2 years.  He broke his hip and  has never recouperated.  My mother had him moved  from his home town to be only 7 miles from the town we live in now.  He is in a small room and has a roommate.  He eats all of his meals from his bed.  He has a foley cathater.  He has to ask for staff to help him with everything he does in a day.  It  has been quite a change from the life he used to have, in a way.  Actually, it is better in so many ways.  He is now given attention by people, which he longed for before.  He is seen by physicians and therapists, meeting his medical needs.  Before he fell and broke his hip, he lived alone.  He had no interaction with the world.  He was unable to drive, he was unable to go to church, and he was unable to care for himself fully.


This morning, though, I thought of him.  Not the bitter, difficult man he was back then, but the broken man he is today.  This dad of mine, this improved version, would have loved to have been in this service.   The old dad would have been critical of how the service was run, internally jealous of the other pastors, would have criticized how the music was, (too showy, too many musicians, etc...). But not this dad.  God has worked on this version of my dad to the point that I think he would have enjoyed it.  He would have possibly even raised his hands.  And, he would have cried.  Cried for all of the years before that so many opportunities were wasted.  Thankful for being part of the CHURCH, as opposed to a congregation.  The thought of him being there and enjoying this worship time brought me quickly and surprisingly to tears.  Only a sniffle and wet eyes at first, but then tears were actually streaming as I began to realize what God was showing me.  I had to stop singing, stop participating, and just stand in His presence and to listen.

I think He took me to the session I attended yesterday on forgiveness.  It was aimed at marriage, but it goes to all relationsihips.  I am being brought to a place of forgiveness for my dad.  I am being shown that I am as guilty for ignoring and wasting opportunities as he was.  I have been holding myself  back from him because of history.  He needs this from me and I must give it.  I don't know if i can give it away yet, but the time will come.

A mother's heart...

I remember when you were born.  I remember how much hope and promise you brought with you.  I have always wanted so much for you.  I have prayed for your health, for your decisions, for your heart, for your walk with Christ, for your attitude, for your future, for your purity, for your spouse, for your children, and about 1000 other things.  I have watched you love, watched you win, watched you grow, watched you have your heart broken, watched you lose, watched you learn, watched you serve, watched you worship, watched you lead...day by day, up and down, little by little.  I have been angry, thrilled, disappointed, proud, scared, speechless, and in awe of you.  I have wanted to hold you, kiss you, protect you,  spank you, cheer for you and I have even wanted to take your place when I knew the situation would be so very difficult.  I am much like any other mother would be.  I love you with all that I am and all that I have.

When I think about your future, I try not to envision too many details.  I have guessed before and have been seemingly very wrong.  I have predicted the future, only to have that future change drastically and prove me to be very bad at fortune telling.  I have  even said and done things to try to influence you to get to where I though you were going.  Trouble is, I am not in charge of where you are going.  Only God can see where He is steadily leading you.  You, as a believer, have the Holy Spirit within you to keep you on that path.  I trust Him, I trust you.

I am proud of where you are today.  It has been a long journey to get here.  You are not where you want to be yet, but in time you will be.  You are doing the things that it takes to achieve your goals.  You are making good choices.  You have the right people beside you.  You are not working from a place of self.  You are more like your Daddy than you are like me.  All of these things are positives!  You are my child and I could not have ordered you any more well designed than you are.  Cannot wait to see what is coming next.  I love you.