Christmas...

Have I mentioned that Christmas is my favorite time of year?  The lights, the decorations, the music...I LOVE Christmas!  Christmas is such a mile marker for families.  I measure the years based on how old my children were this Christmas or which relatives visited that Christmas.  All Christmases are important- past, present and future.

I have been thinking about the things I loved most about the Christmas' I have experienced in the past.  I love the movies- both old and new.  I love the candlelight service we have at church, I love the traveling to MawMaw and PawPaw's house...and there is no way to describe my love for ham, cranberry salad and homemade yeast rolls.  These are some of my best memories of Christmases past.

Christmas present will look a little different this year.  This year, we will have  decorations, music and lights.  We will have a candlelight service at church and then we will be traveling to Mawmaw and PawPaw's house.  I will likely watch my favorite movies (Elf, Rudolph,  and It's a Wonderful Life) too, and there should be no shortage of my favorite foods.  After the usual things occur,  then a lot of things will change.  Instead of leaving for Anderson after Christmas, we will travel to another destination on December 26th...we will go to Birmingham for Ryan and Courtney's wedding!! The normal short visit with our family will then blossom into a much larger event with everyone we love there.   So excited about this- so ready for their new lives to begin!

Christmas  future is just absolutely exciting!!!  Only 14 months from now, December 2013- Ryan and Courtney will be married almost a year already.  They should have another puppy by then (they tell me they want another one for Macks to play with) and who knows what else!   Hannah will be down to only 3 semesters of high school left.  She will be driving, choosing a college, and wearing her own class ring.   K'Lynn will be in her 3rd year at Waco High School.  She will most likely be living in a different house, and will be even more invested in hew community and church.  There is no way to guess the real details of any of their lives in a year, but I know one thing- God is in charge of all of it!! Years to follow there will be weddings and spouses for the girls, grandchildren, new homes to visit, new situations to be proud of.  So many details...all in God's time.

I suspect that my favorite time of year will only become more precious to me as years go by.  Celebrating the birth of Christ is so very important, and I love that aspect  of it.  Also important, though, is the evolution of our family.  From our house only holding Kyle and I only  so many years ago, to three young kiddos all enjoying their gifts and Santa, to an almost empty nest right now with only one young woman left at home, and then eventually someday to a house full of grandbabies...God has had such a rich design for my life.  I look forward to each step.  I love Christmas and all of the  things that come with it.

Be Blessed!!

The visits...

We had a visit this weekend.  Well, we had several, actually.  Some visits were short, others were longer.  Some brought joy, some brought laughter.  Some ended with hugs and some ended with promises of return.  Visits with friends, visits with family, visits with church members, visits with neighbors...so much community!

I have lived in places where I was rarely visited.  Places where I knew people, but did not have 'come over to the house' kind of friends.  We have often lived such fast lives that we rarely visited in the homes of others.   In turn, we rarely invited others into ours.  How sad!  Since coming to Anderson and moving into the parsonage, we have invited numerous families into our home for a meal or a movie.  Sometimes it is a scheduled thing, other times it is very impromptu.  Sometimes we have people over for Sunday lunch,  other times we have groups over for a celebration.  Don't need a formal reason to celebrate.   Recently, we had more than 20 people in our home just because Ryan and Courtney came home to get their dog Macks!

Opening your home can be uncomfortable sometimes.  At our house, it takes a real effort to make sure the house is "clean enough" to have others over.  My sweet husband doesn't ever mind having company over- it just means the place will get spruced up a little more!  I try to remember that "clean enough" is a relative term.  My idea of that is very different than someone else's idea would be.  I get worried about keeping doors closed to the rooms that are not company ready.  I worry about how guests will react to my puppies.  I worry that my idea of clutter on my cabinets will appear messy to someone else.  I wonder if people will look at the display of photo frames I have and notice just how much dust actually covers the glass....I worry more about all of these things than I concentrate on the ministry that is actually being done.

Ministry can happen over a meal.  Investing in another family's life is always a good idea.  Build this into your calendar and into your budget.  In reality, cooking for 8 is not that different than cooking for your usual 4 or 6.  No leftovers, but lots of memories!  The relationships that I have and treasure most have been nurtured by nights  of fellowship.

Jump in...buy an extra chicken and fry it up!  Approach that new family at church on Sunday or Wednesday and ask them what they are doing for lunch next Sunday.  Everyone eats- let them know you will feed them and that you are interested in their lives.  I challenge you...just watch what a difference it will make in the relationship you have with them.  Our church (global) needs to have more visits.  Be the change you want to see.  So....what are you doing for lunch on Sunday???

Gosh, I hope this isn't too personal...

I must confess something.  I have been married for 27 years.  I have a husband that loves me and we work through lots of issues to remain happy and successfully married.  We do struggle in one main area...our sox life.  There, I said it.  We have a major incompatibility when it comes to sox.  I know...it is very personal, but I have to share this.

Grandma does most of the laundry here now days.  I do some, but she is the main washer, dryer and folder of all things cloth.  She places the laundry on the living room table and it is up to each of us to take them to our rooms and put them away.  It is a huge help, but there is one flaw- sox.  She stacks them all neatly and many times even matches them up.  It is here where the problem begins.  I take them to my room and put them away...sometimes...and only if they are matched and folded together.  All of the rest I put into the big striped laundry bag.  This is a bag we have had for a while.  From time to time, I work to match up all of the sox.  We go from a very large bag of assorted sox to a basket full of matched and folded together sox.  If all of the laundry is done and those are all sorted, then what is left should be  thrown away, right?  Well, that is Kyle's theory anyway.  I do not subscribe to this, though, and they stay.  Almost empty bag to an increasingly full bag...this is our pattern again and again.  Now, we get to the real problem...

Morning after morning, Kyle asks where the matched sox are.  There are always some in his drawer, but these are never the brand, style, color or texture that he is looking for.  If there are black short ones, he needs white tall ones.  If there are white tall ones handy,  then he "needs" brown thin dress ones.  His needs and what is available never match up.  Today this was the conversation.  He needed white short ones, but there were none to be found.  Once again, the big striped laundry bag got dumped onto the bed so that we could sort through them and find a pair.  If I had a nickel for every time that I dumped that bag out...I could likely go on a nice vacation or something.  Kyle said "I am really struggling in one area of my life right now...my sox life".  It was so comical that we both began to laugh!  I wondered how I could share the funny joke and thought of this format.  I hope I didn't shock anyone with these intimate details...just being real, I guess!

Be blessed!!

The dance...



Life is full of weights and counter weights,good times and bad times, balances and dances.  A spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down, a dose of honey to catch the flies with rather than vinegar... We spend so much time saying the right things to balance out the harder things that must be said.  It is a skill set really.  My father in law says that you need the ability to pat someone on the back and kick them in the butt at the same time.  Here is where I am today...

In my life, I feel that I spend a lot of time appologizing or aggonizing over how I said something, when I said it, that I said it at all... In other words, I find myself in trouble due to my tongue a lot. Do I share this detail?  Was that spoken in confidence?  What would it mean to this person if I told them this informion?  Harmful?  Helpful?  How will this sound?  Will this be mis-interrpreted?  Get the idea??

I find this to be true in work, church and family life.  Guess I could worry about this less if I cared less about what people thought.  Designed by God with an overdose of empathy, though, would prohibit this.  As you are reading this, you might wonder if I really am being honest.  If you know me and have been on the other end of my sharp tongue or poor judgement, you may find it hard to believe that I worry about this.  I do, but I know it doesn't keep me from 'shooting off my mouth'.  I sent Hannah a text message yesterday that Siri typed for me.  I was busy, it is true, but it was way too abrupt.  I would normally 'balance' my short answer and lack of time with a smiley face or something to soften the message.  Siri does not.  Hannah asked me last night if Siri typed that message for me. I asked why?  She said "Because it came across much harsher than you probably meant for it to."  Ouch...this is exactly why I :-) and ;-) my way through text messages and emails!  Winkies and smiles are a little juvenille, but they soften our very black and white email/texting world. 

So, I guess I will continue to dance...sure hope I don't step on any toes!

Be blessed!

A very full heart

God has allowed me to totally feel the fullness of a happy heart lately.  No, I am not just super excited every minute of every day over every detail of my life, but I am appreciating it all so much more.  I find myself wanting to just smile for no particular reason...just full of the joy God has placed in my little corner of this world.

My joy comes from many places.  First, it would have to be traced back to my personal relationship with Christ.  To think that the God of the universe knew me before the foundation of the world...mind boggling.    Knowing that He works out the details of my life for my good...so thankful for this!

My husband has to be the best thing that God allowed me to experience.  The love we have shared over the past almost 30 years is more than anyone deserves. Neither of us is perfect, but together we are both so much better.  From the first time I met him, I knew I would love him forever.  Sounds a little overwhelming for a 14 year old, but I just knew.  He has grown into the most amazing man.  I am so very thankful.

My children...where would I even start to explain how they fit in?  Each with a very unique set of personality traits and skills, they are such a wonderful contribution to the world.  They are the best of each of their parents, plus so much more that they bring to the table all on their own.  K'Lynn, a confident and yet tender spirit, so willing to be obedient to God's calling on  her life.  She invests daily in the lives of her students and (semi) patiently waits for the rest of His plan to be revealed in her life.  Ryan, a Godly young man that has already given his life to the service of the Kingdom,  is about to embark on the next phase of his life.  He and Courtney will begin their married life on December 28th.  I am so anxious to see how God will use this amazing couple in the world.  He has come a long way from the little boy that cried  all the time and would only let me hold him.  He doesn't need me like that anymore...  And then there is Hannah.  Where do I begin?  The baby I prayed for has grown into an amazing, thoughtful and smart young lady.  The world is her oyster and the sky is the limit.  She has been a pleasure to raise.  I look forward to seeing how the rest of our family will develop.  Partners for the girls, grandchildren from all...this is really only the beginning!

My church family is just amazing.  So many different people brought together in three buildings that could not possibly truly hold the awesomeness that we represent.  People to worship with, pray with, share with, and to bear burdens together with...God really knew what He was doing when He placed each one of them there.  The wisdom of those that are older, the vibrance of those that are younger, the enthusiasm of the new believers, the steadiness of the seasoned Christians- all working together to  further God's Kingdom.  What a special group!

My circle of friends has grown over the years.  Some have come into the circle while others left.  The true friends that God has given me are priceless.  Some I see often, some I barely ever see.  All play a part in my life and fill a particular need.  I won't name names...if you are in the circle you know it!  I would hate to mention one and forget another, but you are so dear to me.  Texting, laughing, sharing meals together, cruising (!)...I love my friends and the way they add to my world.

I know I am missing things that I will want to add later, but for this morning this is the top of the list. Proverbs 15:13 says  A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.   We have all had times of joy and times of sadness. I am thankful for this happy season.

Be blessed!

16 years ago...

16 years ago, Hannah McKay was born.  For so long, we hadn't had any babies.  Ryan was 8, K'Lynn was 10.  They were elementary school students that were independent.  Suddenly, our days became once again filled with diapers and pacifiers, bottles and baby wipes, blankies and  carseats.  We became a new family, the one that God always knew we would be.


16 years ago, God began to make it clear to Kyle that it was His plan for Kyle to go into the ministry. I have heard him tell the story many times.  He says that he had fought the calling, making excuses for why he couldn't do it.  He always said God hadn't shown him how he could make it work financially.  During this  time, he had been doing volunteer work as the youth leader in our home church. He was just plain good at it...God had a plan for him in that area of ministry.  He attended an evangelism conference in a church in Arkansas and finally surrendered.  He told God, "OK, I will just do it and trust you to show me how it will work"...and God did.


16 years ago, God had taken a church with a long history and placed in it the desire to hold on.  The desire to hold together, despite the fact that the numbers were dwindling.  By this time, the number in attendance was only 7.  7 widow women that met each Sunday.  They asked for a pastor nearby to come in the afternoons, after he preached at his regular church.  They asked him to help them keep the doors open, knowing that the good work God started in that place could not be finished yet.  So they continued...

16 years ago, God put into place all of the pieces necessary to bring our family to where we are today.  God knew long ago that one day 4 years ago, Kyle and that baby would drive up to the church that He had protected and prepared for our family to join.  God knew that He would put into place a complicated series of events that would allow Kyle to be in the state of Texas in the first place.  God knew Hannah would take a trip to see her Mawmaw and Pawpaw, would become ill, and her Daddy would have to jump into his Mustang and make his way quickly to care for her, from New Mexico all the way to Texas.  This trip would coincide with a search committee that had come across one more resume...after reviewing more than 80 of them.  God knew....

So, today, we celebrate the life of a baby born 16 years ago.  I also reflect on the things God put into place back then for the life He has given us today.  I look at the number of families God has allowed us to interact with, to touch, and to come to love- people we knew nothing of back then.  So much has changed, over these past 16 years. So thankful for a God with a plan!!

Be blessed...

Legacy...

In Sunday School yesterday, we were reading in Psalm 145.  In verse 13, David writes "Your kingdom is an everlasting kindgom and your dominion endures through all generations."  This made me think of how God's presence in a family, in the hearts of it's members, changes the way that family looks generation after generation.  Although no family is perfect, I wonder just how ours would look without the influence of Christ and our church family on it all these years.  This would surely shape the way our children, then, started and raised their own families and so on, and so on, and so on...

Remember the movie "It's a  Wonderful Life"?  My family and friends know that this is my all time favorite movie.  I even talked Kyle into showing it at a big church get together once.  It is a classic!  In it, George Bailey is a main character.  He gets to find out what his hometown of Bedford Falls would have been like if he hadn't ever been born.  It was a much darker place with Mr. Potter having no opposition  and no one to encourage the people to rise up and make a better life for themselves.  Christ is a lot like this in our own world.    His example is  what allows us to know of the hope we have (or can have) for a future.  The Bible is a piece of this also.  It's words can encourage us to live better lives.  It is the opposition to the darkness that Satan (or Mr. Potter) provides in our world.  Without Christ...without the Gospel... this world would be a very dark place.  Back to the movie illustration,  because of George Bailey's influence on the world (in Bedford Falls, anyway), generations were changed.

Are you being a George Bailey?  If your influence on your spouse, your children, your family, in your workplace and your community one that makes a positive difference?  Are you doing Kingdom work that will touch others with Christ's love and bring other closer to a saving knowlege of Him?  It is not too late to start!  Begin today.  Leave a legacy...be George Bailey....be Christ's hands and feet in our world.

Be blessed....

A new season...

This morning I was awakened to the nagging  sounds of a puppy that wanted to go outside.  I had the alarm set for 6:45, but it was only 5:48. Lucy knows my usual schedule and felt that I had overslept, I guess.  When I got moving a minute or so later (because she was not giving up on this idea!), I decided she also knew something I hadn't discovered yet...we had just hit a new season.  The air outside was crisp and the wind was blowing.  She loves this time of year!  49*...soooo nice!!  Lucy and Cooper ran, jumped, played, chased and rolled all over each other in the dark yard.  The air seemed to energize them both.  So far this morning she had asked to go outside twice already in just under an hour.  Cooper is just a baby, and never has experienced this time of year before.  He sure seems to like it too.

Made me think about other new seasons I am in also.

Last Sunday morning, I woke up excited too.  It was the day that my son Ryan had planned to propose to his precious girlfiend (now fiance!) Courtney.  There were lots of fun moments that day, all resulting in Courtney agreeing to marry him.  On December 28th, they will become man and wife.  A new season...

Last Monday afternoon, the call came in letting me know that my dad had been rushed to the hospital with a heart attack.  This whole week God has led my family into a place none of us has ever been before.  A world of ICU visits, DNR orders, talks of memorial services.  Thankfully today, my dad is alive and doing fairly well.  We are all much more prepared to handle the days that come now.  We have a plan for the day that he leaves us.  A new season...

Yesterday, I attended the wedding of a couple that attends our church.  As Kyle performed the ceremony, I watched as two families with children all joined hands and committed their new marraige to the Lord.  Two seperate households becoming one.  Two twin brothers now have a new sister.  Children from one parent households now have both a Mom and  a Dad in their home.  For them it is definitely a new season...

My oldest daughter K'Lynn starts her rehearsals for their musical this week.  She is the theater arts teacher at Waco High School.  It is her second year there.  She has taken on the job of  producer, director, counselor, mother, life coach, and mentor to each of the students she works with each day.  For that whole group, this is a new season...

Finally, this week, my baby girl Hannah will turn 16.  I remember the bright eyed baby that she was.  The youth minister's kid that was at every youth event from day one is now actually a valid member of her own youth group.  Not just a member, a leader.  I look into the beautiful eyes of a young woman when I see her now.  She is driving, dating, living, loving, learning, and evolving.  A new season...

There are so many more seasons that I anticipate in the coming days.  Seasons that include weddings and funerals,  new in-laws and grandchildren, loss and joy, new beginings and goodbyes.  I know that God has wonderful plans for my life and the lives of my family.  We will trust Him as we enter each of these.  I will claim Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  I will not fear new seasons, for God brings them for my good.  For today...I am going to make a pot of chili, enjoy the cooler temperatures and look ahead at all God has for me.

 
Be blessed....

The roller coaster...part 2

Monday morning...awake early and off to a 6 am breakfast with Ryan and Courtney. On the road by 7:30, making good time. I am not sure when the call came in...maybe 2 or 3 in the afternoon. My dad had a major heart attack. He was being coded and taken to the hospital. High....to low....all in a matter of minutes. Dad has been sick since July 6th when he broke his hip. Such a long story, but he has just really had a hard time ever since then. This was his worst episode yet. He coded 3 times that afternoon. We notified Ryan. Mom said that he was on life suppport. We continued home and got there around 8. Upon my arrival, Mom was packing. She was going to leave to go check on dad. I lost it. It was too late for her to be driving. He was teetering on the edge of death already. I could not handle the idea of her wrecking because it was too late to be driving and losing them both in one day. I begged her to wait until the morning. She saw how fragile I was, I guess. She agreed to wait. Around 10 that night, we talked with Adam ( my brother) who was at the hosptial. We were all in agreement that Dad would not want to be kept alive on the respirator. Adam was going to go in and have them turn off the machines. After talking to Mom, though, we agreed that we should wait until Mom got there on Tuesday.






Tuesday morning. I knew Mom was leaving soon. I knew we hadn't gotten any word about Dad all night. I decided to call the hospital and get an update on his status. "He was discharged sometime yesterday" was what I was told. Well, let's think about this. He was there last night at 10 and was on the ventilator. Doubt he got sent home...this must mean he passed away. I asked to be transferred to the house supervisor to get a time of death. He had no record of him passing. OK...I guess I could call the funeral home. "No ma'am, I have not picked up anyone by that name tonight." was the response. One more call to the hosptial...Could you please check again and let me know where my dad is???? No idea. I decided to call the other hospital in town after Mom suggested maybe he could be there. One call..less than a minute...talking to a nurse that said "Your dad is here and is doing really well...".




For over 40 minutes, call after call, I was more and more sure that my dad had passed away. Now, I hear that he is not. I did not even know how to process the emotions I was feeling. I had already told my sister...she had cried....now I have to call her back. This is exhausting! It was really more than I could handle. I went to bed.  I emailed my wonderful boss and co-worker to explain.  I cried myself to sleep and slept for 5 hours.  I know I was exhausted, but the emotions were a bigger issue.  Kyle allowed me to sleep, but then came in and said "If you are ready to get up, I will take you to town and get you some lunch".  I was ready pretty quick and we went to Bryan.  I so needed that time with him.  We shopped,  hung out, went to Hannah's ball game, and I did a little bit of healing.   That afternoon, Mom had arrived at the hospital.  We fully expected her to get there and begin to say goodbye.  To get there and tell the staff that she was ready for them to turn off his life support.  For her to get there and for my dad to pass away.  When she did get there, though, he was awake.  He was on life support (the ventilator) which was breathing for him 100% of the time, but he was alert and could communicate with his eyes and hand gestures.  He was not a man that was ready to have any plugs pulled!

On Wednesday, he was a little better.  Still on the vent, but more alert and able to appreciate the fact that my mom was there.  Thursday came, and he was extubated.  He was placed on oxygen by nasal canula only.   On Friday, he was moved to the pulmonary floor and put into a private room.  He and my mom talked alot during this time.  They resolved a lot of issues that  had been lingering, unspoken.  They made peace...they talked about what would happen when he coded the next time.  He decided to be made a "DNR (do not recussitate) and DNI (do not intubate)".  He decided where he wanted his ashes spread.  They had already decided he would be creamated, but more specifics were identified.  He told my mom that he wants a memorial to be held in Anderson.  This is where the people are that have loved and supported mom for the past year and a half.    My sister is with mom and dad now.  They are enjoying the time he has left together.

I did not go.  I started to, but I decided against it.  I saw him a few months ago, when he was still at home.  I think that for me, I prefer to remember him that way for now.  I have spoken with him on the phone, he knows about Ryan and Courtney's engagement. He knows how great things are going at the church.  He knows about how Hannah is doing in school and about her Sweet 16 party.  He is so very proud of my family.   I may go soon, but feel peace about my decision for now.  I am thakful for this rollercoaster, in a way.  I am so glad that they had time to resolve so many things.  I dont think she is angry anymore.  It feels to me like that peace that passeth understanding.  You aren't sure why you are ok (because many people wouldn't be), but you just are.  When it happens...today or in 10 years...I will be at peace with it.

So, with all of that said....be intentional with your actions and live everyday to it's fullest.  Life can change in an instant.  We are not promised tomorrow.  Blessings....

The roller coaster....part one

The last 7 days have been a ride.  Last Friday, we left after Hannah's volleyball game for McLeod.  We left late and arrived there just before 1 am.  Kyle, Hannah, K'Lynn and I all grabbed a couple of hours of sleep and then off we went to Birmingham!  Why were we going?  Because our son, Ryan, was going to propose to his beautiful girlfriend Courtney.   We have grown to love her like our own daughter over the past almost 2 years.  She is everything I have prayed that God would package into the woman he would marry someday.

Saturday, we arrived in Birmingham in the afternoon.  We were able to spend the evening with Ryan, seeing where he lives, where he works, having dinner and preparing ourselves for the next day's events.  Church the next morning was like a secret service mission with Ryan's friends trying to make sure we were no where near Courtney.  We have kept this quiet so well- we couldn't blow it at the last minute!!  Lunch with Ryan, then the girls and I went to gather all the things we were going to use to set up the engagement site.  Flowers, Sparkling cider,  chocolate dipped strawberries, and an umbrella.  Why?  It was raining- had been raining all day- and the site he chose was outside.  Back to the hotel, a quick nap, and then rushing to get ready.  Out the door on time, but then we got lost on the way to the restaraunt to get the supper we ordered.  We finally found the place, with the rain building.  Just as we drove up, the text we got from Ryan was, "I need  a tarp".  What?  I don't keep one in my purse!  We jumped out of the truck with all of our gear and began to run up the hill to the pavillion.  Wait....K'Lynn says Ryan says we are going to plan B.  Wait?  I am standing in the rain with tissue wrapped roses.  I am dripping wet already!

OK...plan B.  We drove quickly to his house and set up the dinner in his living room.  We made it look beautiful!  We went to find some dinner of our own...5 Guys.  As we ate, we watched the live Twitter feed that Ryan had a friend doing of the whole scene.  Just enough detail to totally get the idea of what was happening.  I cried right there in the restaraunt...so happy for my son.  Once dinner was over, we went  to Courtney's aunt's house for a post-proposal party with lots of family and friends.  This was also the moment when we got to meet the folks I will share grandbabies with someday!  Susan and Bill are wonderful people!  This is going to be fun!

The engagement party was amazing!  They told us just how Ryan proposed.  Courtney told us that she was so proud of him for finally proposing!  One of the pictures that Ryan's friend took showed that moment perfectly- her arms raised in celebration!  Speaking of pictures....times certainly have changed.  I doubt anyone used to prepare with a photographer prior to proposing when Kyle and I got married.  Now, though...it is pretty common.  Ryan prepared very well and had his roommate in a rain poncho and hiding in the bushes with a long-range lens.  He took wonderful pictures that allowed us all totally have the experience with them, after the fact.  We celebrated with everyone and talked about the wonderful wedding that is coming in only 3 months!  Late that night we made it back to the hotel, preparing to return to real life the next day.