Early in the morning has always been my favorite time of day. From the time that I was a very young child, I can remember getting up early. This was my time. I love being with people, but there is something about my own time to prepare for the day and gather my thoughts. It is my own twist on my mother's tendency to sit up all night doing whatever...she is an all-nighter and I am a super early riser. Both of us seek the same thing....quiet and time alone.
I would rise just as the tv began to change from the test screen to the National Anthem. I remember slicing up potatoes and frying them in grease with onions and eating them with ketchup. I remember watching PTL Club on tv and knowing all about Jim and Tammie Faye Baker before their scandal. I never felt drawn to sending them any money, but I did think it was funny to watch her cry so much. I do not remember anything else about the morning routine but this, but I remember this pretty well.
As a young mother, my mornings were very different. Babies, toddlers, diapers, and bottles...so much for quiet time. The kids got older and the mornings got quiet again. They reached an age where they enjoyed sleeping in and my mornings were my own again.
You might be wondering where Kyle fits into my quiet morning time. He doesn't. He loves to sleep, doesn't ever get enough sleep, and gets up when I wake him- rarely spontaneously. He is a 'middle of the day' kind of guy. Not great at late nights, not too much for early mornings. He works his best in the late morning or early afternoon . That works for us! I am the morning shift, he works the afternoon shift, and I guess now Grandma covers the night shift at our house. :-)
I would like to say that I spend most of my morning quiet time in total bible study or fervent prayer. I would like to say that I ran 5 miles a couple of miles during that time. I would love to say that I did online courses and furthered my education during that quiet time. I cannot claim any of that actvity. Here is how it usually goes instead: up with the puppies to take them out, run bath water, grab some breakfast, take a bath, play around on Facebook, wake Hannah up, get ready for work and out the door. Nothing too productive, but it is relaxing. It is time without the pressure (just for a bit) of work or my phone. Time before patients need to be seen and evaluations need to be put into the computer. My time, as much as any time is mine.
I need this time- with the schedule I keep, it is the only quiet time I get. This week has been no exception. Every night this week, gone for hours attending one event after another. As busy as it is though, I love it. I don't do idle well, apparently. In the quiet of the mornings, though...I try.
Be blessed!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
I wonder if they know....
I have come to really wonder about people. I know society has changed alot and that children aren't raised like they were 50 years ago, but what is the deal? I wonder if they know how they look and sound sometimes. Here are some of the things I have seen that baffle me. Maybe you will be able to relate to one or more.
Be Blessed!!
- Why do grown women need to take pictures with so much cleavage showing? Not attractive...especially when you are already married and over 30.
- Do you realize what LMAO means? Would you say that out loud....in front of your boss or mother? Try using LOL or LMBO instead. Same idea, better for kids to read.
- In the workplace, do you realize the poor impression you make when you use foul language? Anyone can use 4 letter words....be more creative.
- Have you realized yet that character is invaluable? Develop it. I have come to know several young adults that have so much of it and I am excited for their futures. I know too many adults that have so little and their lives reflect this. Try hard to be a good person and do the right things. People are looking and habits are being developed.
- Who says you have to wait until you are 30 to get married? Who says you have to marry the minute you graduate from college? Whose business is it anyway when you make that choice? If you have the Holy Spirit living in you...if you are a believer...God will provide the person and the time for you to meet that person if it is His will for you to marry. I feel so much pressure for those single young women I know to do things on society's timetable. Not ok...we are all designed differently. God's path for each of us is different.
- In sporting competitions, there are two types of people. Those that have been molded into great atheletes with integrity and character and everyone else. Good coaches teach students to honor the game and the other players. Shake hands with the competition before and after a game. If a player is hurt, take a knee and be quiet. If you score, don't act like you just won the Super Bowl. This is high school. No one is as impressed as you are with yourself.
- Has anyone ever told you that confidence and cockiness are not the same thing? Strength and confidence are attractive and magnetic. Being cocky is quite the turn off for most people. And do NOT refer to yourself in the 3rd person!!
- Do you realize that gossip is like poison? Be so careful as you share. You do not know who may hear you , who they know, if they will repeat it, or if it will be heard with the same feeling it was said. Our tongues are so hurtful at times!
Be Blessed!!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Empathy and pity
I have blogged in the past about my "gift" of empathy. I am thankful for this trait, more and more as I get older. I realize that God designed me to cry easily and feel things deeply. I know that this helps to balance the other personalities in my home. God just made me that way, so it is ok. Pity is another thing.
I have discovered that while I am overly endowed with empathy, pity I am short on. Situations that might otherwise bring about pity in other people's minds brings me to a point of frustration. If it is a perfect stranger, I might be able to muster up some small amount of pity. People I know, though, do not get that luxury. I am frustrated with some family members whose behaviors are self-destructive. I am bothered by other that seem not to care for themselves as much as others care for them. I cannot tolerate it when friends make the same poor choices again and again. Frustration- not pity.
I sure am glad that God does not look at me the same way. His love for me is not based on anything I do or do not do well. My decisions don't make Him love me less, my attitudes don't erase my relationship with Him. Realizing this forces me to think about my 'gifts'. If I can be full of empathy, why not pity? I have to work on this. I have to become more like Christ, less like me. My nature is selfish. My flesh is full of flaws. Good to remember when I start leaning to my own understanding. More of Him...more of Him.
I have discovered that while I am overly endowed with empathy, pity I am short on. Situations that might otherwise bring about pity in other people's minds brings me to a point of frustration. If it is a perfect stranger, I might be able to muster up some small amount of pity. People I know, though, do not get that luxury. I am frustrated with some family members whose behaviors are self-destructive. I am bothered by other that seem not to care for themselves as much as others care for them. I cannot tolerate it when friends make the same poor choices again and again. Frustration- not pity.
I sure am glad that God does not look at me the same way. His love for me is not based on anything I do or do not do well. My decisions don't make Him love me less, my attitudes don't erase my relationship with Him. Realizing this forces me to think about my 'gifts'. If I can be full of empathy, why not pity? I have to work on this. I have to become more like Christ, less like me. My nature is selfish. My flesh is full of flaws. Good to remember when I start leaning to my own understanding. More of Him...more of Him.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
The year the holidays were different....
The holidays are very different for my family this year. We have known for a little while that Christmas would be different. Ryan and Courtney are getting married!! That will change things a lot. So, travel plans have been made. Adjustments have been made regarding gifts and schedules. We are trying to roll with everything, making sure Hannah gets a Christmas (she is still our kiddo at home), while honoring the wonderfulness of the wedding. So far, so good!
Thanksgiving was going to be interesting from the begining. I worked on Wednesday before the holiday and was scheduled for Black Friday also. Lots of pressure being applied by the regional management due to a low census, so there was no taking off. We agreed that we would just leave as soon as we could on Wednesday and travel back Thursday evening. Fast trip, but we wanted to see family. It is important. Goody cake, ham, homemade rolls, and cranberry salad...I wanted these things too!
Monday before Thanksgiving, Hannah woke up sick. She had a sore throat primarily, but aches, low grade fever, and headache. She continued to feel this way on Tuesday. Tuesday night, I took her to urgent care. "The crud"...not much of a diagnosis, but it was the info we received. Cough syrup, advil, rest...not much else to do. Wednesdy, though, we had to make the call. Were we going to travel to MawMaw's with Hannah feeling so bad? Lots of discussion, phone calls, and re-assurances later, Hannah finally said she did not feel like going. She felt terrible, knowing it would change everyone's Thanksgiving. We reassured her that no one would be mad. We would see everyone at Christmas. No need to feel guilty!
No food in the house, so I had to go shopping for Thanksgiving. I envisioned Christmas at the Kranks with my trip to the store. Fighting over a turkey or something...big crowds...limited supplies. I knew it would be bad. I was also wondering how I was going to cook a full dinner without any help! Kyle would be a helper, but Hannah could not. Hannah did help me in the store, though. Lots of folks there that waited until the last minute to get their supplies also. Not too bad, though. She and I decided to avoid the normal turkey day food. We went with surf and turf instead. Sirloins and extra large shrimp (16/20s) grilled to perfection. Kyle is quite the artist on the grill. Hannah rose to the occassion and made two pumpkin pies. We made Kyla Kay's recipe of brocolli rice caserole. We did fresh green beans with bacon and brown sugar. It was delicious! A very different Thanksgiving, but it was ours and we were together.
Christmas will bring it's own set of changes. The best part, no matter how things are different this year, is that we are a family that loves one another. We can communicate and enjoy each other. We laugh at the cousins and the silly games they play year after year. We have moved beyond exchanging gifts and now realize that the time we are together is the real gift. We enjoy PawPaw's smokey cook shed and Sauce Picante'. We have all been together so many years... we are just enjoying ourselves! New family members have been added and are being added. Husbands, wives, grandchildren, in-laws, and even pets. Life changes and God is in control. So thankful for the year the holidays were different. So many more changes to come!
Thanksgiving was going to be interesting from the begining. I worked on Wednesday before the holiday and was scheduled for Black Friday also. Lots of pressure being applied by the regional management due to a low census, so there was no taking off. We agreed that we would just leave as soon as we could on Wednesday and travel back Thursday evening. Fast trip, but we wanted to see family. It is important. Goody cake, ham, homemade rolls, and cranberry salad...I wanted these things too!
Monday before Thanksgiving, Hannah woke up sick. She had a sore throat primarily, but aches, low grade fever, and headache. She continued to feel this way on Tuesday. Tuesday night, I took her to urgent care. "The crud"...not much of a diagnosis, but it was the info we received. Cough syrup, advil, rest...not much else to do. Wednesdy, though, we had to make the call. Were we going to travel to MawMaw's with Hannah feeling so bad? Lots of discussion, phone calls, and re-assurances later, Hannah finally said she did not feel like going. She felt terrible, knowing it would change everyone's Thanksgiving. We reassured her that no one would be mad. We would see everyone at Christmas. No need to feel guilty!
No food in the house, so I had to go shopping for Thanksgiving. I envisioned Christmas at the Kranks with my trip to the store. Fighting over a turkey or something...big crowds...limited supplies. I knew it would be bad. I was also wondering how I was going to cook a full dinner without any help! Kyle would be a helper, but Hannah could not. Hannah did help me in the store, though. Lots of folks there that waited until the last minute to get their supplies also. Not too bad, though. She and I decided to avoid the normal turkey day food. We went with surf and turf instead. Sirloins and extra large shrimp (16/20s) grilled to perfection. Kyle is quite the artist on the grill. Hannah rose to the occassion and made two pumpkin pies. We made Kyla Kay's recipe of brocolli rice caserole. We did fresh green beans with bacon and brown sugar. It was delicious! A very different Thanksgiving, but it was ours and we were together.
Christmas will bring it's own set of changes. The best part, no matter how things are different this year, is that we are a family that loves one another. We can communicate and enjoy each other. We laugh at the cousins and the silly games they play year after year. We have moved beyond exchanging gifts and now realize that the time we are together is the real gift. We enjoy PawPaw's smokey cook shed and Sauce Picante'. We have all been together so many years... we are just enjoying ourselves! New family members have been added and are being added. Husbands, wives, grandchildren, in-laws, and even pets. Life changes and God is in control. So thankful for the year the holidays were different. So many more changes to come!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Back in time: December 13 & 20, 1985
My first Christmas as an "adult"- at all of 16 years old! Makes me laugh now, since Hannah is 16 and I cannot imagine her doing any of this. She would manage, just like I did, but I am thankful she doesn't have to!
December 13, 1985:
I never had any idea one holiday could be so expensive! At home, I never had to pay for much of anything at Christmas. Mother even paid for (before I started working) Kyle's presents from me. This year is a really a switch!!
Buying for Kyle was easy. We bought our TV, which will serve as Christmas this year. He also needs some new jeans, socks and underwear. I have never bought anyone underwear from Christmas before!
Kyla and Kelli are a little harder. I know pretty much what Kyla wants since we've been shopping together a lot. Kelli on the other hand, is a complete mystery. I think she wants clothes, shirts in particular.
My sister is pretty easy since she has such a small wardrobe. I'd like to buy her something really expensive that no one else will have. Mom and Dad can't buy her all of the finest things, and somehow I feel that she deserves them. I wish I could get her all of the things she wants.
Why are parents so hard to buy for? We have no idea as to what we should buy them! Even though they are not expecting much, I still feel as if we should get them someting extra special. Kyle said he was getting me something, but I have no idea what it could be!
I'd really like to have a big party to show off my nice 'new' house to all of our friends, but if we are going to see my grandmother there is no way we could afford it.
December 20, 1985
Finally school is going to be out! I've waited so long for this much needed vacation. We are leaving on Wednesday (Christmas Day) for my granma's house in Missourri. It's a 400 mile trip and since I love long rides, I can't wait! This is a 'first' for me in many ways.
Merry Christmas!!
December 13, 1985:
I never had any idea one holiday could be so expensive! At home, I never had to pay for much of anything at Christmas. Mother even paid for (before I started working) Kyle's presents from me. This year is a really a switch!!
Buying for Kyle was easy. We bought our TV, which will serve as Christmas this year. He also needs some new jeans, socks and underwear. I have never bought anyone underwear from Christmas before!
Kyla and Kelli are a little harder. I know pretty much what Kyla wants since we've been shopping together a lot. Kelli on the other hand, is a complete mystery. I think she wants clothes, shirts in particular.
My sister is pretty easy since she has such a small wardrobe. I'd like to buy her something really expensive that no one else will have. Mom and Dad can't buy her all of the finest things, and somehow I feel that she deserves them. I wish I could get her all of the things she wants.
Why are parents so hard to buy for? We have no idea as to what we should buy them! Even though they are not expecting much, I still feel as if we should get them someting extra special. Kyle said he was getting me something, but I have no idea what it could be!
I'd really like to have a big party to show off my nice 'new' house to all of our friends, but if we are going to see my grandmother there is no way we could afford it.
December 20, 1985
Finally school is going to be out! I've waited so long for this much needed vacation. We are leaving on Wednesday (Christmas Day) for my granma's house in Missourri. It's a 400 mile trip and since I love long rides, I can't wait! This is a 'first' for me in many ways.
- It's the first time Kyle and I are going away together.
- It's the first time I've seen my grandparents in 5 years.
- It's the first time I've gone on a trip and gotten to drive.
- It's the first trip I've ever made while being pregnant.
- It's the first time I've ever left Booger (the dog) with anyone else.
Merry Christmas!!
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Back in time: November 15 and December 6, 1985
November 15, 1985:
I finally feel like a real mother!! On Saturday, November 9th, 1985, my baby finally moved!! It felt like a little foot or hand was pushed up, no bigger than the size of my thumb. It stayed there for a minut and then subsided. Later that evening, I could feel it turning around in it's confined quarters, trying to find a comfortable position.
Kyle can't feel it yet, but he did feel a foot or hand the other day as it pressed against the wall of my stomach. He feels a little more like a "Daddy" now too I think. Now when I am away from Kyle, I don't mind it quite so much. I know the baby is there and it's almost as good.. It is really strange carrying a child inside me that is really and truly alive. It seems like that since it can move, it needs to be out and in the world. I can't wait until it finally is here.
I paid off the doctor yesterdy and made a $100 down payment at the hospital. That leaves a balance of $850 which can be pain in the next 6 weeks. i'm not sure how we'll do it, but we'll have the money.
We bought a car yesterday. Actually, we sold Kyle's old '57 Chevy truck to a guy in Atlanta for his 1980 LTD and $450. The car is in really nice shape and doesn't seem to have much wrong with it. It'll be a family car and Kyle will keep the Mustange to play with.
The baby is moving again! Now I'm a mom! (or at least as much of a mom as I can be at this stage of the game!)
December 6, 1985:
My test scores really surprised me! I wonder how well my friends did in Queen City? I also wonder if I would have done as well if I had still been going to Queen City. There, I wasn't a 'stupid' kid, but I walso wasn't the smartest. Although I maintained A's and a few B's, I still felt inferior around those who were a little smarter than I . I guess going here has helped my grades int that I don't feel that I am fighting an uphill battle. There is very little competition (only 7 or 8 people compared to 128!) and I really feel that I have an edge for once!
The baby has been moving quite a bit lately. Kyle, who didn't think too much about it at first, is begining to become excited at the thought of a son or daugher of his very own.
We are still planning on going to my grandma's for Christmas with my family provided that the LTD will make it. It needs some work done on it, but I think it will be ok.
We bought a new TV last Tuesday (12-3). It is a 19" color Hitachi It was $329.89 on sale which was a little more than I had planned on spending, but it will be our Christmas. Before that we were watching a little 12' black and white job that was in pretty bad shape. Kyle has really enjoyed not having to s t rain his eyes to see what was on. I can't wait until tomorrow to watch cartoons in full color!! (Yes, at 16 3/4 years old, pregnan and married, I still watch cartoons!!))
I finally feel like a real mother!! On Saturday, November 9th, 1985, my baby finally moved!! It felt like a little foot or hand was pushed up, no bigger than the size of my thumb. It stayed there for a minut and then subsided. Later that evening, I could feel it turning around in it's confined quarters, trying to find a comfortable position.
Kyle can't feel it yet, but he did feel a foot or hand the other day as it pressed against the wall of my stomach. He feels a little more like a "Daddy" now too I think. Now when I am away from Kyle, I don't mind it quite so much. I know the baby is there and it's almost as good.. It is really strange carrying a child inside me that is really and truly alive. It seems like that since it can move, it needs to be out and in the world. I can't wait until it finally is here.
I paid off the doctor yesterdy and made a $100 down payment at the hospital. That leaves a balance of $850 which can be pain in the next 6 weeks. i'm not sure how we'll do it, but we'll have the money.
We bought a car yesterday. Actually, we sold Kyle's old '57 Chevy truck to a guy in Atlanta for his 1980 LTD and $450. The car is in really nice shape and doesn't seem to have much wrong with it. It'll be a family car and Kyle will keep the Mustange to play with.
The baby is moving again! Now I'm a mom! (or at least as much of a mom as I can be at this stage of the game!)
December 6, 1985:
My test scores really surprised me! I wonder how well my friends did in Queen City? I also wonder if I would have done as well if I had still been going to Queen City. There, I wasn't a 'stupid' kid, but I walso wasn't the smartest. Although I maintained A's and a few B's, I still felt inferior around those who were a little smarter than I . I guess going here has helped my grades int that I don't feel that I am fighting an uphill battle. There is very little competition (only 7 or 8 people compared to 128!) and I really feel that I have an edge for once!
The baby has been moving quite a bit lately. Kyle, who didn't think too much about it at first, is begining to become excited at the thought of a son or daugher of his very own.
We are still planning on going to my grandma's for Christmas with my family provided that the LTD will make it. It needs some work done on it, but I think it will be ok.
We bought a new TV last Tuesday (12-3). It is a 19" color Hitachi It was $329.89 on sale which was a little more than I had planned on spending, but it will be our Christmas. Before that we were watching a little 12' black and white job that was in pretty bad shape. Kyle has really enjoyed not having to s t rain his eyes to see what was on. I can't wait until tomorrow to watch cartoons in full color!! (Yes, at 16 3/4 years old, pregnan and married, I still watch cartoons!!))
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Back in time: November 1 & 8, 1985
((Accepted by my new class...what a great feeling!))
11/1/85- I really never though that after being here for only two months I would become the president of the junior class! I never even really thought anyone liked me. It really was a nice surprise!
Halloween was kind of fun. We got to decorate the house and give candy to the little kids dressed in costumes from Walmart. There must have been 75 kids at my doorstep from 5:30-7:30. Some of them I knew, others I didn't, but I had fun being on 'the other side of the door' for the first time!
This kid is really growing now! I imagine I've gained 5 lbs in the last week or so. Kyle laughs at me and says I'm beautiful. I don't feel very beautiful but if he insists, I will go along with it! I thought at first that maternity clothes were the ugiest things I had ever seen, but now they make a lot of sense. I hate trying to squeeze into my old tight clothes now. I got a few shirts from one of Kyle's cousin's wives, but no pants. I had to buy a pair of jeans from Walmart, and they are what I wear most of the time. I'm learning how to sew, so I'll be able to make some of my own clothes.
11/8/85- Well, my class ring finally came in. I guess it looks ok. Kyle was really glad I got a 'traditional' class ring. He doesn't like the other styles.
Adam is going to be seven on Sunday. I bought him a "He-Man" character whose eyes really bug out. It's his favorite one now, but I wonder if it still will be on Sunday? He is growing up SO fast!! It seems like only yesterday Mother was pregnant and I was looking forward to a new sister or brother. I was so excited when he finally came!! I wonder if our baby will be as excited if and when it has a baby brother or sister. I'm still not sure when we'll have anothe one. I think I need to let this one grow up a little before it has anyone to share the spotlight with. I also want it to be old enough not to be jealous of a new baby, but to enjoy it like I did Adam. That is not to say we'll wait almost 10 years like my parents did, though.
These new feelings I am having are difficulty to understand sometimes. Is it the baby moving around or is it just gas? It sounds funny, but I'lve had some gas (or something!) that felt like I was being knocked down! Actually, that's only when I eat chili.
I go to the doctor in 2 1/2 weeks. He said we'd be able to hear the heart beat (s?) by then. Since twins run in my family, there is a slight chance of there being more than one heart beat. I can't wait to hear it (or them!)!
11/1/85- I really never though that after being here for only two months I would become the president of the junior class! I never even really thought anyone liked me. It really was a nice surprise!
Halloween was kind of fun. We got to decorate the house and give candy to the little kids dressed in costumes from Walmart. There must have been 75 kids at my doorstep from 5:30-7:30. Some of them I knew, others I didn't, but I had fun being on 'the other side of the door' for the first time!
This kid is really growing now! I imagine I've gained 5 lbs in the last week or so. Kyle laughs at me and says I'm beautiful. I don't feel very beautiful but if he insists, I will go along with it! I thought at first that maternity clothes were the ugiest things I had ever seen, but now they make a lot of sense. I hate trying to squeeze into my old tight clothes now. I got a few shirts from one of Kyle's cousin's wives, but no pants. I had to buy a pair of jeans from Walmart, and they are what I wear most of the time. I'm learning how to sew, so I'll be able to make some of my own clothes.
11/8/85- Well, my class ring finally came in. I guess it looks ok. Kyle was really glad I got a 'traditional' class ring. He doesn't like the other styles.
Adam is going to be seven on Sunday. I bought him a "He-Man" character whose eyes really bug out. It's his favorite one now, but I wonder if it still will be on Sunday? He is growing up SO fast!! It seems like only yesterday Mother was pregnant and I was looking forward to a new sister or brother. I was so excited when he finally came!! I wonder if our baby will be as excited if and when it has a baby brother or sister. I'm still not sure when we'll have anothe one. I think I need to let this one grow up a little before it has anyone to share the spotlight with. I also want it to be old enough not to be jealous of a new baby, but to enjoy it like I did Adam. That is not to say we'll wait almost 10 years like my parents did, though.
These new feelings I am having are difficulty to understand sometimes. Is it the baby moving around or is it just gas? It sounds funny, but I'lve had some gas (or something!) that felt like I was being knocked down! Actually, that's only when I eat chili.
I go to the doctor in 2 1/2 weeks. He said we'd be able to hear the heart beat (s?) by then. Since twins run in my family, there is a slight chance of there being more than one heart beat. I can't wait to hear it (or them!)!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Back in time; October 18 & 25, 1985
10/18: ((Pregnancy seems to be agreeing with me...I am about 4 months along now and the morning sickness is over!!))
This is so exciting!! For the past two or three days, I have actually felt my little 4 month along baby move! It is sometimes hard to tell if it is that or gas (ha ha!), but most of the time that is what it is. It never lasts for long and its not kicking or anything, but at least I can finally tell I am not alone. I'll go back to the doctor in a few days and see how much weight I've gained. I know I've put on at least 5 lbs because now I have quite a tummy! That is another thing I am having to get used to- my expanding figure. Before I never had uch of a stomach and was really proud of it. I loved wearing jeans that 'fit' and tucking my shirts in, but not now. If I did, all you'd see was one huge tummy! Actually, I kind of enjoy being able to put on a few pounds without feeling guilty.
Also, I am not worried about money anymore. Kyle and his dad have landed a contracting job with the government. It is for a 1-year trial period. if that works out, they get a 5 year contract. That finally means some steady money!! The doctor bills will be paid without a struggle now! I guess I'm really in a good mood this week!!
10/25: ((Making plans and doing laundry...))
More good new!! Kyle and I were finally able to buy a washer and dryer! The washer is used, probably 2-3 years old and cost $100. The dryer, though, has only been used 5 or 6 times and was only $200!! Kyle priced the same new and it was almost $400! We paid $200 down on the pair and will pay the other $100 within 30 days. It's strange though. Before I got my washer and dryer and dishwasher, my house and kitchen was a lot cleaner! Now I have dishes stacked up for 2 miles!!
Kyle and I have been talking about going to visit my grandmother in Missouri next summer. By then the baby will be here and they will get to see it. I'm the oldest grand child so this is their first great grandchild. When I mentioned going to my mom and dad, they said that they were going around Christmas. They also said that if we wanted to, we could go then too and follow them. Those will be cheap vacations since we only pay for gas and meals up there and back. I think Kyle will really like my grandparents. They are real country people. They live on a ranch of about 250 acres on a mountain. They have chickens, ducks, cows, bees and buffalo! I haven't been there in about 4 summers, and I would really like to see a real live buffalo. At Christmas, it almost always snows and the hills are beautiful!! They also have a creek running through the back of their land which has caves along side it (int he hills on either side of it). The creek is deep enough to canoe on sometimes, but the beavers like to dam it up a lot. We used to swim in it when I was younger. I really can't wait!It is so cozy there. I also love the trip up there. It takes about 10 hours to get there through nothing but mountains. I hope the Mustang (or 'The Horse" as Kyle calls it!) will make it!! I like stopping at the McDonalds in Branson about 11 pm or so and getting hot cherry pies and Cokes. I wish we could leave a little sooner! I also wish that the baby would already be here by the time we do go at Christmas! Then again, grandma would like to see me all fat and expecting!
This is so exciting!! For the past two or three days, I have actually felt my little 4 month along baby move! It is sometimes hard to tell if it is that or gas (ha ha!), but most of the time that is what it is. It never lasts for long and its not kicking or anything, but at least I can finally tell I am not alone. I'll go back to the doctor in a few days and see how much weight I've gained. I know I've put on at least 5 lbs because now I have quite a tummy! That is another thing I am having to get used to- my expanding figure. Before I never had uch of a stomach and was really proud of it. I loved wearing jeans that 'fit' and tucking my shirts in, but not now. If I did, all you'd see was one huge tummy! Actually, I kind of enjoy being able to put on a few pounds without feeling guilty.
Also, I am not worried about money anymore. Kyle and his dad have landed a contracting job with the government. It is for a 1-year trial period. if that works out, they get a 5 year contract. That finally means some steady money!! The doctor bills will be paid without a struggle now! I guess I'm really in a good mood this week!!
10/25: ((Making plans and doing laundry...))
More good new!! Kyle and I were finally able to buy a washer and dryer! The washer is used, probably 2-3 years old and cost $100. The dryer, though, has only been used 5 or 6 times and was only $200!! Kyle priced the same new and it was almost $400! We paid $200 down on the pair and will pay the other $100 within 30 days. It's strange though. Before I got my washer and dryer and dishwasher, my house and kitchen was a lot cleaner! Now I have dishes stacked up for 2 miles!!
Kyle and I have been talking about going to visit my grandmother in Missouri next summer. By then the baby will be here and they will get to see it. I'm the oldest grand child so this is their first great grandchild. When I mentioned going to my mom and dad, they said that they were going around Christmas. They also said that if we wanted to, we could go then too and follow them. Those will be cheap vacations since we only pay for gas and meals up there and back. I think Kyle will really like my grandparents. They are real country people. They live on a ranch of about 250 acres on a mountain. They have chickens, ducks, cows, bees and buffalo! I haven't been there in about 4 summers, and I would really like to see a real live buffalo. At Christmas, it almost always snows and the hills are beautiful!! They also have a creek running through the back of their land which has caves along side it (int he hills on either side of it). The creek is deep enough to canoe on sometimes, but the beavers like to dam it up a lot. We used to swim in it when I was younger. I really can't wait!It is so cozy there. I also love the trip up there. It takes about 10 hours to get there through nothing but mountains. I hope the Mustang (or 'The Horse" as Kyle calls it!) will make it!! I like stopping at the McDonalds in Branson about 11 pm or so and getting hot cherry pies and Cokes. I wish we could leave a little sooner! I also wish that the baby would already be here by the time we do go at Christmas! Then again, grandma would like to see me all fat and expecting!
Back in time: October 4, 1985
((Married 6 weeks by now...the reality of being a wife and housekeeper was setting in. The teacher I mention in this entry taught me so many things that I still enjoy doing like cooking. Good foundation being laid here...))
I have a new hobby that I am really excited about! Mrs. Weems, my clothing and textiles teacher, has introduced our class to needlepoint of all forms. The first project we made was done in "candlewicking". I really like making those little knots! The next project was just plain needlepoint. It was easy to do and didn't take too long. Yesterday we started cruel embroidery which is fun, but takes a lot more time. With these new skills, I'm aquiring, I might be able to make some cute things for the baby.
I'm afraid my housekeeping, which has been less than satisfactory in the past day or so, is going to cause some problems. It's not that Kyle has said anything about it, but I can't stand to look at it!! I know that there must be time SOMEWHERE in my schedule for this extra work, but I know I haven't found it yet.
I was really proud to be a former Bulldog last Friday night when Queen City walked all over Atlanta. The game was really good and it was nice in a tacky sort of way to see those proud Atlanta people walk out defeated! It really was nice, also, to see a lot of my friends from Queen City who I miss very much. They were all really nice to me and acted like they were glad I was there. I wish that there were some way I could go back.
Also, in case you were wondering, we finally used the gift certificate you gave us yesterday. It went for a new fireplace grate and the shovel and broom set that goes with it. Thank you Mrs King!!
I have a new hobby that I am really excited about! Mrs. Weems, my clothing and textiles teacher, has introduced our class to needlepoint of all forms. The first project we made was done in "candlewicking". I really like making those little knots! The next project was just plain needlepoint. It was easy to do and didn't take too long. Yesterday we started cruel embroidery which is fun, but takes a lot more time. With these new skills, I'm aquiring, I might be able to make some cute things for the baby.
I'm afraid my housekeeping, which has been less than satisfactory in the past day or so, is going to cause some problems. It's not that Kyle has said anything about it, but I can't stand to look at it!! I know that there must be time SOMEWHERE in my schedule for this extra work, but I know I haven't found it yet.
I was really proud to be a former Bulldog last Friday night when Queen City walked all over Atlanta. The game was really good and it was nice in a tacky sort of way to see those proud Atlanta people walk out defeated! It really was nice, also, to see a lot of my friends from Queen City who I miss very much. They were all really nice to me and acted like they were glad I was there. I wish that there were some way I could go back.
Also, in case you were wondering, we finally used the gift certificate you gave us yesterday. It went for a new fireplace grate and the shovel and broom set that goes with it. Thank you Mrs King!!
Monday, November 12, 2012
Back in time: September 27, 1985
((I have often told people that when I got married and we were trying to figure out how to pay for a baby, no one ever said the word "Medicaid" to me. I maintain that this was the very BEST thing that happened to us during that time. We learned to pull together, pay for our own way, and trust God to help us get through. The dollar amounts in this entry make me smile...it was so long ago and money was so different then. Minimum wage was about $3.35, so the thought of making $7 was huge!!.))
As we drove to Atlanta, all we could think about was "How are we going to pay for this child?" Super figures ran though our heads, $2000, $2500 or more. We have no insurance, so we are responsible for the full amount. Kyle has been working for his grandmother, but how long would that hold out?
After we arrived at the doctor's office and filled out the necessary papers, we were told we had to discuss our method of payment with the insurance lady. We sat down in her office and she began to explain the charges. $385 for the doctor, due by the 7th month. An additional $950 was due also by the 7th month to the hospital. There would also be a $12 office charge during each visit. Not counting the $12 office charges, that was a grand total of $1335. Over the next four months, that is $333.75/month. We were really relieved that it was only $1335, but the fact that it is due in only 4 months is what is scary.
From now on, our family ( of 2 1/2) is going on a strict budget. We have to or we'll never get everyone paid off.
One glimmer of hope, though. The doctor said "April 14" and I am doing fine. As a matter of fact, I've only thrown up twice this whole week! Also, Kyle and his dad are about to go back into contracting (which is their first love) and Kyle is supposed to make $6-$7/hour. It's a big improvement over the $4-$5/hr he has been making, so we might just make it after all!
As we drove to Atlanta, all we could think about was "How are we going to pay for this child?" Super figures ran though our heads, $2000, $2500 or more. We have no insurance, so we are responsible for the full amount. Kyle has been working for his grandmother, but how long would that hold out?
After we arrived at the doctor's office and filled out the necessary papers, we were told we had to discuss our method of payment with the insurance lady. We sat down in her office and she began to explain the charges. $385 for the doctor, due by the 7th month. An additional $950 was due also by the 7th month to the hospital. There would also be a $12 office charge during each visit. Not counting the $12 office charges, that was a grand total of $1335. Over the next four months, that is $333.75/month. We were really relieved that it was only $1335, but the fact that it is due in only 4 months is what is scary.
From now on, our family ( of 2 1/2) is going on a strict budget. We have to or we'll never get everyone paid off.
One glimmer of hope, though. The doctor said "April 14" and I am doing fine. As a matter of fact, I've only thrown up twice this whole week! Also, Kyle and his dad are about to go back into contracting (which is their first love) and Kyle is supposed to make $6-$7/hour. It's a big improvement over the $4-$5/hr he has been making, so we might just make it after all!
Back in time: Sept 20, 1985
(( From my high school journal. At this point, Kyle and I had been married for one month, 3 days. We must have just moved from Kyle's parents home into our own and K'Lynn was due in April.))
I really appreciate all of the things my mother went through with me. I know what what true 'morning sickness' is. I also know that it doesn't just come in the morning. For the past three weeks, I have been sick. I get up and eat, I go to the bathroom and I throw up. The pattern continues all day. I wonder what this is doing to my baby? I've made sure I've been taking my vitamins, but will they be enough? WIthout any real food, I am afraid I"ll end up hurting my baby. I don't guess that I"m the first to have worried about this, though. Surely other mothers-to-be have gone through times like this when they only keep a third of what they eat. I know all of this might sound silly and probably kind of gross too, but I am really worried about it.
Along with all of that, I am now having to learn how to keep house, cook, do dishes, make beds, clear tables, do the laundry and still find time for my homework. I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but I know I will make it somehow. Kyle has actually been a big help. He clears the table and fixes his own breakfast sometimes when I am sick or in an extra big hurry. I'm really glad I married him!!
This entry seems to be filled with gloom and despair, but actually I am quite happy with my new life. Besides, I am 2 months along, so the morning (all day) sickness should't last much longer. Maybe a month or so. The only problem is that after that 3rd or 4th month- I GET FAT!!!
I really appreciate all of the things my mother went through with me. I know what what true 'morning sickness' is. I also know that it doesn't just come in the morning. For the past three weeks, I have been sick. I get up and eat, I go to the bathroom and I throw up. The pattern continues all day. I wonder what this is doing to my baby? I've made sure I've been taking my vitamins, but will they be enough? WIthout any real food, I am afraid I"ll end up hurting my baby. I don't guess that I"m the first to have worried about this, though. Surely other mothers-to-be have gone through times like this when they only keep a third of what they eat. I know all of this might sound silly and probably kind of gross too, but I am really worried about it.
Along with all of that, I am now having to learn how to keep house, cook, do dishes, make beds, clear tables, do the laundry and still find time for my homework. I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but I know I will make it somehow. Kyle has actually been a big help. He clears the table and fixes his own breakfast sometimes when I am sick or in an extra big hurry. I'm really glad I married him!!
This entry seems to be filled with gloom and despair, but actually I am quite happy with my new life. Besides, I am 2 months along, so the morning (all day) sickness should't last much longer. Maybe a month or so. The only problem is that after that 3rd or 4th month- I GET FAT!!!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Back in time: September 6, 1985
I should preface the next few "Back in time" entries with a little history. If you don't know, I married my sweet husband on Aug 17, 1985. I was 16 and we had a baby girl on the way. I left my high school in May and never returned. I moved to McLeod, TX where my husband was from and began life there as an adult- sort of! In my English class every week or two, the instructor had us journal for 15 minutes each week.. Here is the results of that effort. All of these years later, the memories are very special to me.
Entry #1:
Even though we disappointed them, they stood by us and are still standing by us. Our parents probably went through a hundred different feelings as we told them. Anger, at us pretending for so long that nothing was going on, and hurt that we hadn't shared our problem with them earlier. If I had been my mother, I would have wanted to beat someone or something up to release my frustration. I am sure they felt plenty of that also. Afer the initial shock wore off, the day-to-day problems were their biggest worry. "Where will they live? They have no insurance, who will pay the hospital? Kyle isn't even working- how will they ever make it?" With all of these questions rushing through everyone's heads, I thought "Surely there is some way to get off of this merry-go-round!"
There was...because God was there.
Even though we had left Him so far behind so many times, He was there...waiting for us to turn it all over to him once again.
Two days after we were married, The Lord sent Kyle a job- which was f antastic because I had been asked to leave my job earlier that day. My boss saw that I was sick and knew it wasn't going to get much better. She told me that if I couln't work to go home, so I did. I was afraid to tell Kyle because that $110 every week was all we had. He told me not to worry, he'd get a job soon and sure enough- that very night he did!! God really does work miracles- even today!
Entry #1:
Even though we disappointed them, they stood by us and are still standing by us. Our parents probably went through a hundred different feelings as we told them. Anger, at us pretending for so long that nothing was going on, and hurt that we hadn't shared our problem with them earlier. If I had been my mother, I would have wanted to beat someone or something up to release my frustration. I am sure they felt plenty of that also. Afer the initial shock wore off, the day-to-day problems were their biggest worry. "Where will they live? They have no insurance, who will pay the hospital? Kyle isn't even working- how will they ever make it?" With all of these questions rushing through everyone's heads, I thought "Surely there is some way to get off of this merry-go-round!"
There was...because God was there.
Even though we had left Him so far behind so many times, He was there...waiting for us to turn it all over to him once again.
Two days after we were married, The Lord sent Kyle a job- which was f antastic because I had been asked to leave my job earlier that day. My boss saw that I was sick and knew it wasn't going to get much better. She told me that if I couln't work to go home, so I did. I was afraid to tell Kyle because that $110 every week was all we had. He told me not to worry, he'd get a job soon and sure enough- that very night he did!! God really does work miracles- even today!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Narrow minded...
I was listening to the coverage on the election this week (like everyone else). After listening now for almost two years to election talk, I have come to realize something. I am narrow minded.
I am a Republican, if I have to pick one. Possibly an Independent, definitely a Conservative, and slightly Libertarian. I am not a Democrat. If you are my friend and you are a Democrat, I am sorry if this seems offensive. I am not offended that you are Democratic, but respect your choice to choose your own party. I would like to line out the reasons why I am so narrow minded, however.
First of all, I should say that I never wanted to vote for Mitt Romney. My favorite AM talk show host called him "Mittens" during the primaries. I always laughed at this. I voted for Rick Perry, and would again today if he were an option. I did go, though, and vote for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan with hope and confidence. I believed that God had appointed them for this hour, I believed that God would make straight the crooked path set ahead. I knew that He could...but I knew that the reality was that we deserved anything that happened at this point.
My facebook is filled with conservative friends, much like me I suppose. I know the old saying of 'birds of a feather' is true if my list is any unit of measure. My liberal friends could be counted on my two hands despite the fact that I have well over 1000 friends on FB. I do not like confrontation and discovered long ago that I didn't fight well on FB, nor do I tolerate liberal posts that offend me. I hid everyone that I didn't want to watch circle the drain, or I blocked them all together. Do not scold me about this- it is my FB and is there for my pleasure. I won't tell you how to manage your list if you don't tell me how to manage mine! All of that being said, I know people that really enjoy debating on FB with others. I don't feel that I am good at it, don't feel that it changes anyone's mind, and always get my feelings hurt. I am just fragile like that, I guess!
Now that the election is over, I am still in a bit of a fog about the whole thing. Tuesday night, the reality of the vote began to set in. I started out very hopeful, but this faded very quickly. I drove Hannah home from her volleyball practice and listened to the coverage. She and I talked about some of the issues and I was so impressed with her grasp of them. Even at 16, she realizes the impact our nation's situation will have on the life she will form someday on her own. The tax debt is one thing, but the moral decay is another. She gets it. As I drove, the realization that Romney was not going to pull this out hit me. I began to cry. I did not want to think about a world where Obama was our president any longer. I quietly wiped away tears and sniffled It was just a sad drive.
Wednesday morning, I woke up hoping it had been a bad dream. It wasn't, but I knew that God was in control. I do not subscribe to the thought that Obama winning is God's will. I believe that God gives us choices. People chose to stay home...to not vote...to be frustrated because the ideal candidate wasn't on the ticket...to pick the candidate of 'stuff'...they chose allright. We will pick up the pieces for years to come.
I wish there was a better answer for our country. I know that God is in control. I will have to rest in that today.
I am a Republican, if I have to pick one. Possibly an Independent, definitely a Conservative, and slightly Libertarian. I am not a Democrat. If you are my friend and you are a Democrat, I am sorry if this seems offensive. I am not offended that you are Democratic, but respect your choice to choose your own party. I would like to line out the reasons why I am so narrow minded, however.
First of all, I should say that I never wanted to vote for Mitt Romney. My favorite AM talk show host called him "Mittens" during the primaries. I always laughed at this. I voted for Rick Perry, and would again today if he were an option. I did go, though, and vote for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan with hope and confidence. I believed that God had appointed them for this hour, I believed that God would make straight the crooked path set ahead. I knew that He could...but I knew that the reality was that we deserved anything that happened at this point.
My facebook is filled with conservative friends, much like me I suppose. I know the old saying of 'birds of a feather' is true if my list is any unit of measure. My liberal friends could be counted on my two hands despite the fact that I have well over 1000 friends on FB. I do not like confrontation and discovered long ago that I didn't fight well on FB, nor do I tolerate liberal posts that offend me. I hid everyone that I didn't want to watch circle the drain, or I blocked them all together. Do not scold me about this- it is my FB and is there for my pleasure. I won't tell you how to manage your list if you don't tell me how to manage mine! All of that being said, I know people that really enjoy debating on FB with others. I don't feel that I am good at it, don't feel that it changes anyone's mind, and always get my feelings hurt. I am just fragile like that, I guess!
Now that the election is over, I am still in a bit of a fog about the whole thing. Tuesday night, the reality of the vote began to set in. I started out very hopeful, but this faded very quickly. I drove Hannah home from her volleyball practice and listened to the coverage. She and I talked about some of the issues and I was so impressed with her grasp of them. Even at 16, she realizes the impact our nation's situation will have on the life she will form someday on her own. The tax debt is one thing, but the moral decay is another. She gets it. As I drove, the realization that Romney was not going to pull this out hit me. I began to cry. I did not want to think about a world where Obama was our president any longer. I quietly wiped away tears and sniffled It was just a sad drive.
Wednesday morning, I woke up hoping it had been a bad dream. It wasn't, but I knew that God was in control. I do not subscribe to the thought that Obama winning is God's will. I believe that God gives us choices. People chose to stay home...to not vote...to be frustrated because the ideal candidate wasn't on the ticket...to pick the candidate of 'stuff'...they chose allright. We will pick up the pieces for years to come.
I wish there was a better answer for our country. I know that God is in control. I will have to rest in that today.
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Pyramid
On Facebook this month, I am participating in the posting daily of things that I am thankful for. I have worked the list according to the pyramid. You do know the pryamid, right? It looks like this
GOD
My Husband
K'Lynn, Ryan and Hannah
Church Life: activities, commitments
All other family: parents, sisters, brothers and others
Work, School, Community involvement, Teams, committees
....anything else....
I know this is not an all inclusive list of all of the aspects of my life or yours. This is bare bones. You have to work out the lower levels on your own, but the top 3 must not change. If you do not have a husband or children, then the list just moves up one rung leaving room to add them in if that changes. God always has to be FIRST, though. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33) It is a promise to us from God. Place Him and His kingdom first and the rest will fall into place.
Placing your spouse second is easy in the begining. Newlyweds are so devoted to each other. It comes completely naturally. Once a baby comes along, though, priorities get shifted. Every baby needs his/her mama. I have talked with far too many new mothers (or older ones) that clearly switched out positions 2 and 3 once the children were born. This is unhealthy on many levels, for both the parents and the child as well. Your husband and wive must feel that they are the most important thing in this world to you, behind your own relationship with God. Children need to know that they are in this #3 position by design. They will become someone's #2 someday. They should never strive to be in the #1 spot ever. We owe it to them to let them see what a healthy pyramid looks like so that they can have their own someday.
I place church life on the whole in the #4 position. Attendance in regular worship is so important. Commitments to groups, activities, special events and teams is an additional layer to this. All must be this high in my pryamid to make my life work. When I begin to move this to a lower position temporarily, I end up just leaving it in a lower position indefinitely. #4 is the right place in my world for my church life.
Family is #5, I guess. Our extended family lives at least 5 hours away. My sister is slightly closer at 2 1/2 hours, but it is still a distance that prevents frequent visits. Thankfully, Facebook has made all of those miles seem much closer. Our actual drives to East Texas are special when we do get to go, but they are infrequent. All of the years of living closer in the begining of our married life set the stage for this to work out. A strong foundation of family love is so important and I am glad we have that. When we do get together, there is no need to learn names or catch up. We know each other well and just enjoy any time spent with one another.
My company would probably not like to hear how far down on my pyramid they fall, but #6 would be it. Work is very important to me- it is the gas that fuels my car, the grease that allows the wheels to turn, the paycheck that keeps my family afloat. It is not my life, though. The same is true for sports, PTO, Athletic boosters, Band boosters, 4H, FFA, etc... All are wonderful groups, when they are kept in the correct position. No offense to anyone reading this that is heavily involved in those things. I have my list and it works for me. If you can honestly say you have those things balanced out, then that is great. I cannot do that. I get out of whack really quickly when I get involved. Like the years I was band booster president. Hours and hours spent in the concession stand took a toll on my family life. While I am proud of the work I did, it was difficult. Missing most of the ball games my son played in and missing my daughter perform in the band week after week were unfortunate. Can't get that time back...
Everything else is #7. Hobbies like shopping, gardening, garage sales, crafts... these fit in where they are able to be , but are not anything resembling a top priority. More like sprinkles on a cupcake- not the cake or icing themselves. I love them, but i would also let them take over large parts of my world if I could .
What does you pyramid look like? It took me a while to get mine balance out like it is today, but it works and God is honored by it. Take a look...might explain a lot when you dig in deep.
Be blessed!
GOD
My Husband
K'Lynn, Ryan and Hannah
Church Life: activities, commitments
All other family: parents, sisters, brothers and others
Work, School, Community involvement, Teams, committees
....anything else....
I know this is not an all inclusive list of all of the aspects of my life or yours. This is bare bones. You have to work out the lower levels on your own, but the top 3 must not change. If you do not have a husband or children, then the list just moves up one rung leaving room to add them in if that changes. God always has to be FIRST, though. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33) It is a promise to us from God. Place Him and His kingdom first and the rest will fall into place.
Placing your spouse second is easy in the begining. Newlyweds are so devoted to each other. It comes completely naturally. Once a baby comes along, though, priorities get shifted. Every baby needs his/her mama. I have talked with far too many new mothers (or older ones) that clearly switched out positions 2 and 3 once the children were born. This is unhealthy on many levels, for both the parents and the child as well. Your husband and wive must feel that they are the most important thing in this world to you, behind your own relationship with God. Children need to know that they are in this #3 position by design. They will become someone's #2 someday. They should never strive to be in the #1 spot ever. We owe it to them to let them see what a healthy pyramid looks like so that they can have their own someday.
I place church life on the whole in the #4 position. Attendance in regular worship is so important. Commitments to groups, activities, special events and teams is an additional layer to this. All must be this high in my pryamid to make my life work. When I begin to move this to a lower position temporarily, I end up just leaving it in a lower position indefinitely. #4 is the right place in my world for my church life.
Family is #5, I guess. Our extended family lives at least 5 hours away. My sister is slightly closer at 2 1/2 hours, but it is still a distance that prevents frequent visits. Thankfully, Facebook has made all of those miles seem much closer. Our actual drives to East Texas are special when we do get to go, but they are infrequent. All of the years of living closer in the begining of our married life set the stage for this to work out. A strong foundation of family love is so important and I am glad we have that. When we do get together, there is no need to learn names or catch up. We know each other well and just enjoy any time spent with one another.
My company would probably not like to hear how far down on my pyramid they fall, but #6 would be it. Work is very important to me- it is the gas that fuels my car, the grease that allows the wheels to turn, the paycheck that keeps my family afloat. It is not my life, though. The same is true for sports, PTO, Athletic boosters, Band boosters, 4H, FFA, etc... All are wonderful groups, when they are kept in the correct position. No offense to anyone reading this that is heavily involved in those things. I have my list and it works for me. If you can honestly say you have those things balanced out, then that is great. I cannot do that. I get out of whack really quickly when I get involved. Like the years I was band booster president. Hours and hours spent in the concession stand took a toll on my family life. While I am proud of the work I did, it was difficult. Missing most of the ball games my son played in and missing my daughter perform in the band week after week were unfortunate. Can't get that time back...
Everything else is #7. Hobbies like shopping, gardening, garage sales, crafts... these fit in where they are able to be , but are not anything resembling a top priority. More like sprinkles on a cupcake- not the cake or icing themselves. I love them, but i would also let them take over large parts of my world if I could .
What does you pyramid look like? It took me a while to get mine balance out like it is today, but it works and God is honored by it. Take a look...might explain a lot when you dig in deep.
Be blessed!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Allowing things to happen...
I am apparently a control freak. I am awful at allowing things to happen. I cannot seem to 'wait upon The Lord' worth a flip! I try to move pieces around, force round pegs into square holes, and push rocks uphill on a daily basis. I know He has a way of getting things done and that it does not have to involve me, but I still persist. Let me give you an example...
I thought at one point that I wanted to be a journalist. I participated in journalism events in high school and was ok at it. I loved to talk, so doing writing seemed a natural extention of that. I had an amazing journalism instructor that encouraged me in that direction and it seemed to be exactly what I was supposed to do with my life. That was all well and good until I got married, moved to another school and became a teenage mother all in one year. The idea of journalism would probably have gone by the wayside for most people, but not this stubborn girl. I finished high school and got a scholarship. I was going to go to college and become a journalist- you just hide and watch me if you don't believe it!
I found out that I was pregnant with baby #2 (Ryan!) weeks after graduation. I figured that I could get in one semester before I got too very large and pregnant...after all had a scholarship, right? Money was tight, so I needed to make my own maternity clothes. I bought yards of discount fabric, sewed and sewed, and prepared to go to college in September. All the while, Kyle probably just didn't even know what to say to me. He watched as I continued to struggle to make this whole thing happen. We hadn't been married terribly long and we were both so young...it is every wonder we survived it all! I think this is when he coined the phrase (in our family anyway) "let's not try to push any rocks uphill." He finally told me this just before classes were to start. I was angry, very let down, and so disappointed. I had to become a journalist- this was not the schedule I had been thinking of.
Sooooo, I didn't go. I stayed home and I raised babies for two years. I spent time with K'Lynn and Ryan. I dug into the idea of being a mom. I cooked supper and did laundry. I was a wife, I was a mom. Slowly, and withouth me even noticing it, I began to forget about the idea of journalism. Not entirely...I wrote the "McLeod Doins" column for the Citizen's Journal. I posted stories (long before FB) about the local happenings...births and deaths, meetings and church stuff. Not that different than my FaceBook statuses read today, acutally. I did not realize it then but God used that time to loosen my grip on the idea of college and journalism.
A couple of years later, I did go back to school. I went at night, I did it while I worked, and I didn't go to be a journalist. God used a few different situations to bring me to where I am today as a nurse. I tried so hard to make one thing happen, when God knew all along that I needed to do something completely different. He could see the future...I could only see things in the moment. So glad I didn't fight it any harder than I did. His plans are so much better than mine!
So. we go back to this concept of allowing things to happen. Do you watch for little ways that God is trying to lead you? Are you aware of the nudging of the Holy Spirit? Can you see the hand of God in your daily life and are you willing to give up your plans for His? Psalm 27:14 says
Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.
Ok...I will try...
Be blessed!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Christmas...
Have I mentioned that Christmas is my favorite time of year? The lights, the decorations, the music...I LOVE Christmas! Christmas is such a mile marker for families. I measure the years based on how old my children were this Christmas or which relatives visited that Christmas. All Christmases are important- past, present and future.
I have been thinking about the things I loved most about the Christmas' I have experienced in the past. I love the movies- both old and new. I love the candlelight service we have at church, I love the traveling to MawMaw and PawPaw's house...and there is no way to describe my love for ham, cranberry salad and homemade yeast rolls. These are some of my best memories of Christmases past.
Christmas present will look a little different this year. This year, we will have decorations, music and lights. We will have a candlelight service at church and then we will be traveling to Mawmaw and PawPaw's house. I will likely watch my favorite movies (Elf, Rudolph, and It's a Wonderful Life) too, and there should be no shortage of my favorite foods. After the usual things occur, then a lot of things will change. Instead of leaving for Anderson after Christmas, we will travel to another destination on December 26th...we will go to Birmingham for Ryan and Courtney's wedding!! The normal short visit with our family will then blossom into a much larger event with everyone we love there. So excited about this- so ready for their new lives to begin!
Christmas future is just absolutely exciting!!! Only 14 months from now, December 2013- Ryan and Courtney will be married almost a year already. They should have another puppy by then (they tell me they want another one for Macks to play with) and who knows what else! Hannah will be down to only 3 semesters of high school left. She will be driving, choosing a college, and wearing her own class ring. K'Lynn will be in her 3rd year at Waco High School. She will most likely be living in a different house, and will be even more invested in hew community and church. There is no way to guess the real details of any of their lives in a year, but I know one thing- God is in charge of all of it!! Years to follow there will be weddings and spouses for the girls, grandchildren, new homes to visit, new situations to be proud of. So many details...all in God's time.
I suspect that my favorite time of year will only become more precious to me as years go by. Celebrating the birth of Christ is so very important, and I love that aspect of it. Also important, though, is the evolution of our family. From our house only holding Kyle and I only so many years ago, to three young kiddos all enjoying their gifts and Santa, to an almost empty nest right now with only one young woman left at home, and then eventually someday to a house full of grandbabies...God has had such a rich design for my life. I look forward to each step. I love Christmas and all of the things that come with it.
Be Blessed!!
I have been thinking about the things I loved most about the Christmas' I have experienced in the past. I love the movies- both old and new. I love the candlelight service we have at church, I love the traveling to MawMaw and PawPaw's house...and there is no way to describe my love for ham, cranberry salad and homemade yeast rolls. These are some of my best memories of Christmases past.
Christmas present will look a little different this year. This year, we will have decorations, music and lights. We will have a candlelight service at church and then we will be traveling to Mawmaw and PawPaw's house. I will likely watch my favorite movies (Elf, Rudolph, and It's a Wonderful Life) too, and there should be no shortage of my favorite foods. After the usual things occur, then a lot of things will change. Instead of leaving for Anderson after Christmas, we will travel to another destination on December 26th...we will go to Birmingham for Ryan and Courtney's wedding!! The normal short visit with our family will then blossom into a much larger event with everyone we love there. So excited about this- so ready for their new lives to begin!
Christmas future is just absolutely exciting!!! Only 14 months from now, December 2013- Ryan and Courtney will be married almost a year already. They should have another puppy by then (they tell me they want another one for Macks to play with) and who knows what else! Hannah will be down to only 3 semesters of high school left. She will be driving, choosing a college, and wearing her own class ring. K'Lynn will be in her 3rd year at Waco High School. She will most likely be living in a different house, and will be even more invested in hew community and church. There is no way to guess the real details of any of their lives in a year, but I know one thing- God is in charge of all of it!! Years to follow there will be weddings and spouses for the girls, grandchildren, new homes to visit, new situations to be proud of. So many details...all in God's time.
I suspect that my favorite time of year will only become more precious to me as years go by. Celebrating the birth of Christ is so very important, and I love that aspect of it. Also important, though, is the evolution of our family. From our house only holding Kyle and I only so many years ago, to three young kiddos all enjoying their gifts and Santa, to an almost empty nest right now with only one young woman left at home, and then eventually someday to a house full of grandbabies...God has had such a rich design for my life. I look forward to each step. I love Christmas and all of the things that come with it.
Be Blessed!!
The visits...
We had a visit this weekend. Well, we had several, actually. Some visits were short, others were longer. Some brought joy, some brought laughter. Some ended with hugs and some ended with promises of return. Visits with friends, visits with family, visits with church members, visits with neighbors...so much community!
I have lived in places where I was rarely visited. Places where I knew people, but did not have 'come over to the house' kind of friends. We have often lived such fast lives that we rarely visited in the homes of others. In turn, we rarely invited others into ours. How sad! Since coming to Anderson and moving into the parsonage, we have invited numerous families into our home for a meal or a movie. Sometimes it is a scheduled thing, other times it is very impromptu. Sometimes we have people over for Sunday lunch, other times we have groups over for a celebration. Don't need a formal reason to celebrate. Recently, we had more than 20 people in our home just because Ryan and Courtney came home to get their dog Macks!
Opening your home can be uncomfortable sometimes. At our house, it takes a real effort to make sure the house is "clean enough" to have others over. My sweet husband doesn't ever mind having company over- it just means the place will get spruced up a little more! I try to remember that "clean enough" is a relative term. My idea of that is very different than someone else's idea would be. I get worried about keeping doors closed to the rooms that are not company ready. I worry about how guests will react to my puppies. I worry that my idea of clutter on my cabinets will appear messy to someone else. I wonder if people will look at the display of photo frames I have and notice just how much dust actually covers the glass....I worry more about all of these things than I concentrate on the ministry that is actually being done.
Ministry can happen over a meal. Investing in another family's life is always a good idea. Build this into your calendar and into your budget. In reality, cooking for 8 is not that different than cooking for your usual 4 or 6. No leftovers, but lots of memories! The relationships that I have and treasure most have been nurtured by nights of fellowship.
Jump in...buy an extra chicken and fry it up! Approach that new family at church on Sunday or Wednesday and ask them what they are doing for lunch next Sunday. Everyone eats- let them know you will feed them and that you are interested in their lives. I challenge you...just watch what a difference it will make in the relationship you have with them. Our church (global) needs to have more visits. Be the change you want to see. So....what are you doing for lunch on Sunday???
I have lived in places where I was rarely visited. Places where I knew people, but did not have 'come over to the house' kind of friends. We have often lived such fast lives that we rarely visited in the homes of others. In turn, we rarely invited others into ours. How sad! Since coming to Anderson and moving into the parsonage, we have invited numerous families into our home for a meal or a movie. Sometimes it is a scheduled thing, other times it is very impromptu. Sometimes we have people over for Sunday lunch, other times we have groups over for a celebration. Don't need a formal reason to celebrate. Recently, we had more than 20 people in our home just because Ryan and Courtney came home to get their dog Macks!
Opening your home can be uncomfortable sometimes. At our house, it takes a real effort to make sure the house is "clean enough" to have others over. My sweet husband doesn't ever mind having company over- it just means the place will get spruced up a little more! I try to remember that "clean enough" is a relative term. My idea of that is very different than someone else's idea would be. I get worried about keeping doors closed to the rooms that are not company ready. I worry about how guests will react to my puppies. I worry that my idea of clutter on my cabinets will appear messy to someone else. I wonder if people will look at the display of photo frames I have and notice just how much dust actually covers the glass....I worry more about all of these things than I concentrate on the ministry that is actually being done.
Ministry can happen over a meal. Investing in another family's life is always a good idea. Build this into your calendar and into your budget. In reality, cooking for 8 is not that different than cooking for your usual 4 or 6. No leftovers, but lots of memories! The relationships that I have and treasure most have been nurtured by nights of fellowship.
Jump in...buy an extra chicken and fry it up! Approach that new family at church on Sunday or Wednesday and ask them what they are doing for lunch next Sunday. Everyone eats- let them know you will feed them and that you are interested in their lives. I challenge you...just watch what a difference it will make in the relationship you have with them. Our church (global) needs to have more visits. Be the change you want to see. So....what are you doing for lunch on Sunday???
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Gosh, I hope this isn't too personal...
Grandma does most of the laundry here now days. I do some, but she is the main washer, dryer and folder of all things cloth. She places the laundry on the living room table and it is up to each of us to take them to our rooms and put them away. It is a huge help, but there is one flaw- sox. She stacks them all neatly and many times even matches them up. It is here where the problem begins. I take them to my room and put them away...sometimes...and only if they are matched and folded together. All of the rest I put into the big striped laundry bag. This is a bag we have had for a while. From time to time, I work to match up all of the sox. We go from a very large bag of assorted sox to a basket full of matched and folded together sox. If all of the laundry is done and those are all sorted, then what is left should be thrown away, right? Well, that is Kyle's theory anyway. I do not subscribe to this, though, and they stay. Almost empty bag to an increasingly full bag...this is our pattern again and again. Now, we get to the real problem...
Morning after morning, Kyle asks where the matched sox are. There are always some in his drawer, but these are never the brand, style, color or texture that he is looking for. If there are black short ones, he needs white tall ones. If there are white tall ones handy, then he "needs" brown thin dress ones. His needs and what is available never match up. Today this was the conversation. He needed white short ones, but there were none to be found. Once again, the big striped laundry bag got dumped onto the bed so that we could sort through them and find a pair. If I had a nickel for every time that I dumped that bag out...I could likely go on a nice vacation or something. Kyle said "I am really struggling in one area of my life right now...my sox life". It was so comical that we both began to laugh! I wondered how I could share the funny joke and thought of this format. I hope I didn't shock anyone with these intimate details...just being real, I guess!
Be blessed!!
The dance...
Life is full of weights and counter weights,good times and bad times, balances and dances. A spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down, a dose of honey to catch the flies with rather than vinegar... We spend so much time saying the right things to balance out the harder things that must be said. It is a skill set really. My father in law says that you need the ability to pat someone on the back and kick them in the butt at the same time. Here is where I am today...
In my life, I feel that I spend a lot of time appologizing or aggonizing over how I said something, when I said it, that I said it at all... In other words, I find myself in trouble due to my tongue a lot. Do I share this detail? Was that spoken in confidence? What would it mean to this person if I told them this informion? Harmful? Helpful? How will this sound? Will this be mis-interrpreted? Get the idea??
I find this to be true in work, church and family life. Guess I could worry about this less if I cared less about what people thought. Designed by God with an overdose of empathy, though, would prohibit this. As you are reading this, you might wonder if I really am being honest. If you know me and have been on the other end of my sharp tongue or poor judgement, you may find it hard to believe that I worry about this. I do, but I know it doesn't keep me from 'shooting off my mouth'. I sent Hannah a text message yesterday that Siri typed for me. I was busy, it is true, but it was way too abrupt. I would normally 'balance' my short answer and lack of time with a smiley face or something to soften the message. Siri does not. Hannah asked me last night if Siri typed that message for me. I asked why? She said "Because it came across much harsher than you probably meant for it to." Ouch...this is exactly why I :-) and ;-) my way through text messages and emails! Winkies and smiles are a little juvenille, but they soften our very black and white email/texting world.
So, I guess I will continue to dance...sure hope I don't step on any toes!
Be blessed!
A very full heart
God has allowed me to totally feel the fullness of a happy heart lately. No, I am not just super excited every minute of every day over every detail of my life, but I am appreciating it all so much more. I find myself wanting to just smile for no particular reason...just full of the joy God has placed in my little corner of this world.
My joy comes from many places. First, it would have to be traced back to my personal relationship with Christ. To think that the God of the universe knew me before the foundation of the world...mind boggling. Knowing that He works out the details of my life for my good...so thankful for this!
My husband has to be the best thing that God allowed me to experience. The love we have shared over the past almost 30 years is more than anyone deserves. Neither of us is perfect, but together we are both so much better. From the first time I met him, I knew I would love him forever. Sounds a little overwhelming for a 14 year old, but I just knew. He has grown into the most amazing man. I am so very thankful.
My children...where would I even start to explain how they fit in? Each with a very unique set of personality traits and skills, they are such a wonderful contribution to the world. They are the best of each of their parents, plus so much more that they bring to the table all on their own. K'Lynn, a confident and yet tender spirit, so willing to be obedient to God's calling on her life. She invests daily in the lives of her students and (semi) patiently waits for the rest of His plan to be revealed in her life. Ryan, a Godly young man that has already given his life to the service of the Kingdom, is about to embark on the next phase of his life. He and Courtney will begin their married life on December 28th. I am so anxious to see how God will use this amazing couple in the world. He has come a long way from the little boy that cried all the time and would only let me hold him. He doesn't need me like that anymore... And then there is Hannah. Where do I begin? The baby I prayed for has grown into an amazing, thoughtful and smart young lady. The world is her oyster and the sky is the limit. She has been a pleasure to raise. I look forward to seeing how the rest of our family will develop. Partners for the girls, grandchildren from all...this is really only the beginning!
My church family is just amazing. So many different people brought together in three buildings that could not possibly truly hold the awesomeness that we represent. People to worship with, pray with, share with, and to bear burdens together with...God really knew what He was doing when He placed each one of them there. The wisdom of those that are older, the vibrance of those that are younger, the enthusiasm of the new believers, the steadiness of the seasoned Christians- all working together to further God's Kingdom. What a special group!
My circle of friends has grown over the years. Some have come into the circle while others left. The true friends that God has given me are priceless. Some I see often, some I barely ever see. All play a part in my life and fill a particular need. I won't name names...if you are in the circle you know it! I would hate to mention one and forget another, but you are so dear to me. Texting, laughing, sharing meals together, cruising (!)...I love my friends and the way they add to my world.
I know I am missing things that I will want to add later, but for this morning this is the top of the list. Proverbs 15:13 says A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken. We have all had times of joy and times of sadness. I am thankful for this happy season.
Be blessed!
My joy comes from many places. First, it would have to be traced back to my personal relationship with Christ. To think that the God of the universe knew me before the foundation of the world...mind boggling. Knowing that He works out the details of my life for my good...so thankful for this!
My husband has to be the best thing that God allowed me to experience. The love we have shared over the past almost 30 years is more than anyone deserves. Neither of us is perfect, but together we are both so much better. From the first time I met him, I knew I would love him forever. Sounds a little overwhelming for a 14 year old, but I just knew. He has grown into the most amazing man. I am so very thankful.
My children...where would I even start to explain how they fit in? Each with a very unique set of personality traits and skills, they are such a wonderful contribution to the world. They are the best of each of their parents, plus so much more that they bring to the table all on their own. K'Lynn, a confident and yet tender spirit, so willing to be obedient to God's calling on her life. She invests daily in the lives of her students and (semi) patiently waits for the rest of His plan to be revealed in her life. Ryan, a Godly young man that has already given his life to the service of the Kingdom, is about to embark on the next phase of his life. He and Courtney will begin their married life on December 28th. I am so anxious to see how God will use this amazing couple in the world. He has come a long way from the little boy that cried all the time and would only let me hold him. He doesn't need me like that anymore... And then there is Hannah. Where do I begin? The baby I prayed for has grown into an amazing, thoughtful and smart young lady. The world is her oyster and the sky is the limit. She has been a pleasure to raise. I look forward to seeing how the rest of our family will develop. Partners for the girls, grandchildren from all...this is really only the beginning!
My church family is just amazing. So many different people brought together in three buildings that could not possibly truly hold the awesomeness that we represent. People to worship with, pray with, share with, and to bear burdens together with...God really knew what He was doing when He placed each one of them there. The wisdom of those that are older, the vibrance of those that are younger, the enthusiasm of the new believers, the steadiness of the seasoned Christians- all working together to further God's Kingdom. What a special group!
My circle of friends has grown over the years. Some have come into the circle while others left. The true friends that God has given me are priceless. Some I see often, some I barely ever see. All play a part in my life and fill a particular need. I won't name names...if you are in the circle you know it! I would hate to mention one and forget another, but you are so dear to me. Texting, laughing, sharing meals together, cruising (!)...I love my friends and the way they add to my world.
I know I am missing things that I will want to add later, but for this morning this is the top of the list. Proverbs 15:13 says A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken. We have all had times of joy and times of sadness. I am thankful for this happy season.
Be blessed!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
16 years ago...
16 years ago, Hannah McKay was born. For so long, we hadn't had any babies. Ryan was 8, K'Lynn was 10. They were elementary school students that were independent. Suddenly, our days became once again filled with diapers and pacifiers, bottles and baby wipes, blankies and carseats. We became a new family, the one that God always knew we would be.
16 years ago, God began to make it clear to Kyle that it was His plan for Kyle to go into the ministry. I have heard him tell the story many times. He says that he had fought the calling, making excuses for why he couldn't do it. He always said God hadn't shown him how he could make it work financially. During this time, he had been doing volunteer work as the youth leader in our home church. He was just plain good at it...God had a plan for him in that area of ministry. He attended an evangelism conference in a church in Arkansas and finally surrendered. He told God, "OK, I will just do it and trust you to show me how it will work"...and God did.
16 years ago, God had taken a church with a long history and placed in it the desire to hold on. The desire to hold together, despite the fact that the numbers were dwindling. By this time, the number in attendance was only 7. 7 widow women that met each Sunday. They asked for a pastor nearby to come in the afternoons, after he preached at his regular church. They asked him to help them keep the doors open, knowing that the good work God started in that place could not be finished yet. So they continued...
16 years ago, God put into place all of the pieces necessary to bring our family to where we are today. God knew long ago that one day 4 years ago, Kyle and that baby would drive up to the church that He had protected and prepared for our family to join. God knew that He would put into place a complicated series of events that would allow Kyle to be in the state of Texas in the first place. God knew Hannah would take a trip to see her Mawmaw and Pawpaw, would become ill, and her Daddy would have to jump into his Mustang and make his way quickly to care for her, from New Mexico all the way to Texas. This trip would coincide with a search committee that had come across one more resume...after reviewing more than 80 of them. God knew....
So, today, we celebrate the life of a baby born 16 years ago. I also reflect on the things God put into place back then for the life He has given us today. I look at the number of families God has allowed us to interact with, to touch, and to come to love- people we knew nothing of back then. So much has changed, over these past 16 years. So thankful for a God with a plan!!
Be blessed...
Monday, October 8, 2012
Legacy...
In Sunday School yesterday, we were reading in Psalm 145. In verse 13, David writes "Your kingdom is an everlasting kindgom and your dominion endures through all generations." This made me think of how God's presence in a family, in the hearts of it's members, changes the way that family looks generation after generation. Although no family is perfect, I wonder just how ours would look without the influence of Christ and our church family on it all these years. This would surely shape the way our children, then, started and raised their own families and so on, and so on, and so on...
Remember the movie "It's a Wonderful Life"? My family and friends know that this is my all time favorite movie. I even talked Kyle into showing it at a big church get together once. It is a classic! In it, George Bailey is a main character. He gets to find out what his hometown of Bedford Falls would have been like if he hadn't ever been born. It was a much darker place with Mr. Potter having no opposition and no one to encourage the people to rise up and make a better life for themselves. Christ is a lot like this in our own world. His example is what allows us to know of the hope we have (or can have) for a future. The Bible is a piece of this also. It's words can encourage us to live better lives. It is the opposition to the darkness that Satan (or Mr. Potter) provides in our world. Without Christ...without the Gospel... this world would be a very dark place. Back to the movie illustration, because of George Bailey's influence on the world (in Bedford Falls, anyway), generations were changed.
Are you being a George Bailey? If your influence on your spouse, your children, your family, in your workplace and your community one that makes a positive difference? Are you doing Kingdom work that will touch others with Christ's love and bring other closer to a saving knowlege of Him? It is not too late to start! Begin today. Leave a legacy...be George Bailey....be Christ's hands and feet in our world.
Be blessed....
Sunday, October 7, 2012
A new season...
Made me think about other new seasons I am in also.
Last Sunday morning, I woke up excited too. It was the day that my son Ryan had planned to propose to his precious girlfiend (now fiance!) Courtney. There were lots of fun moments that day, all resulting in Courtney agreeing to marry him. On December 28th, they will become man and wife. A new season...
Last Monday afternoon, the call came in letting me know that my dad had been rushed to the hospital with a heart attack. This whole week God has led my family into a place none of us has ever been before. A world of ICU visits, DNR orders, talks of memorial services. Thankfully today, my dad is alive and doing fairly well. We are all much more prepared to handle the days that come now. We have a plan for the day that he leaves us. A new season...
Yesterday, I attended the wedding of a couple that attends our church. As Kyle performed the ceremony, I watched as two families with children all joined hands and committed their new marraige to the Lord. Two seperate households becoming one. Two twin brothers now have a new sister. Children from one parent households now have both a Mom and a Dad in their home. For them it is definitely a new season...
My oldest daughter K'Lynn starts her rehearsals for their musical this week. She is the theater arts teacher at Waco High School. It is her second year there. She has taken on the job of producer, director, counselor, mother, life coach, and mentor to each of the students she works with each day. For that whole group, this is a new season...
Finally, this week, my baby girl Hannah will turn 16. I remember the bright eyed baby that she was. The youth minister's kid that was at every youth event from day one is now actually a valid member of her own youth group. Not just a member, a leader. I look into the beautiful eyes of a young woman when I see her now. She is driving, dating, living, loving, learning, and evolving. A new season...
There are so many more seasons that I anticipate in the coming days. Seasons that include weddings and funerals, new in-laws and grandchildren, loss and joy, new beginings and goodbyes. I know that God has wonderful plans for my life and the lives of my family. We will trust Him as we enter each of these. I will claim Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I will not fear new seasons, for God brings them for my good. For today...I am going to make a pot of chili, enjoy the cooler temperatures and look ahead at all God has for me.
Be blessed....
Saturday, October 6, 2012
The roller coaster...part 2
Monday morning...awake early and off to a 6 am breakfast with Ryan and Courtney. On the road by 7:30, making good time. I am not sure when the call came in...maybe 2 or 3 in the afternoon. My dad had a major heart attack. He was being coded and taken to the hospital. High....to low....all in a matter of minutes. Dad has been sick since July 6th when he broke his hip. Such a long story, but he has just really had a hard time ever since then. This was his worst episode yet. He coded 3 times that afternoon. We notified Ryan. Mom said that he was on life suppport. We continued home and got there around 8. Upon my arrival, Mom was packing. She was going to leave to go check on dad. I lost it. It was too late for her to be driving. He was teetering on the edge of death already. I could not handle the idea of her wrecking because it was too late to be driving and losing them both in one day. I begged her to wait until the morning. She saw how fragile I was, I guess. She agreed to wait. Around 10 that night, we talked with Adam ( my brother) who was at the hosptial. We were all in agreement that Dad would not want to be kept alive on the respirator. Adam was going to go in and have them turn off the machines. After talking to Mom, though, we agreed that we should wait until Mom got there on Tuesday.
Tuesday morning. I knew Mom was leaving soon. I knew we hadn't gotten any word about Dad all night. I decided to call the hospital and get an update on his status. "He was discharged sometime yesterday" was what I was told. Well, let's think about this. He was there last night at 10 and was on the ventilator. Doubt he got sent home...this must mean he passed away. I asked to be transferred to the house supervisor to get a time of death. He had no record of him passing. OK...I guess I could call the funeral home. "No ma'am, I have not picked up anyone by that name tonight." was the response. One more call to the hosptial...Could you please check again and let me know where my dad is???? No idea. I decided to call the other hospital in town after Mom suggested maybe he could be there. One call..less than a minute...talking to a nurse that said "Your dad is here and is doing really well...".
For over 40 minutes, call after call, I was more and more sure that my dad had passed away. Now, I hear that he is not. I did not even know how to process the emotions I was feeling. I had already told my sister...she had cried....now I have to call her back. This is exhausting! It was really more than I could handle. I went to bed. I emailed my wonderful boss and co-worker to explain. I cried myself to sleep and slept for 5 hours. I know I was exhausted, but the emotions were a bigger issue. Kyle allowed me to sleep, but then came in and said "If you are ready to get up, I will take you to town and get you some lunch". I was ready pretty quick and we went to Bryan. I so needed that time with him. We shopped, hung out, went to Hannah's ball game, and I did a little bit of healing. That afternoon, Mom had arrived at the hospital. We fully expected her to get there and begin to say goodbye. To get there and tell the staff that she was ready for them to turn off his life support. For her to get there and for my dad to pass away. When she did get there, though, he was awake. He was on life support (the ventilator) which was breathing for him 100% of the time, but he was alert and could communicate with his eyes and hand gestures. He was not a man that was ready to have any plugs pulled!
On Wednesday, he was a little better. Still on the vent, but more alert and able to appreciate the fact that my mom was there. Thursday came, and he was extubated. He was placed on oxygen by nasal canula only. On Friday, he was moved to the pulmonary floor and put into a private room. He and my mom talked alot during this time. They resolved a lot of issues that had been lingering, unspoken. They made peace...they talked about what would happen when he coded the next time. He decided to be made a "DNR (do not recussitate) and DNI (do not intubate)". He decided where he wanted his ashes spread. They had already decided he would be creamated, but more specifics were identified. He told my mom that he wants a memorial to be held in Anderson. This is where the people are that have loved and supported mom for the past year and a half. My sister is with mom and dad now. They are enjoying the time he has left together.
I did not go. I started to, but I decided against it. I saw him a few months ago, when he was still at home. I think that for me, I prefer to remember him that way for now. I have spoken with him on the phone, he knows about Ryan and Courtney's engagement. He knows how great things are going at the church. He knows about how Hannah is doing in school and about her Sweet 16 party. He is so very proud of my family. I may go soon, but feel peace about my decision for now. I am thakful for this rollercoaster, in a way. I am so glad that they had time to resolve so many things. I dont think she is angry anymore. It feels to me like that peace that passeth understanding. You aren't sure why you are ok (because many people wouldn't be), but you just are. When it happens...today or in 10 years...I will be at peace with it.
So, with all of that said....be intentional with your actions and live everyday to it's fullest. Life can change in an instant. We are not promised tomorrow. Blessings....
Friday, October 5, 2012
The roller coaster....part one
The last 7 days have been a ride. Last Friday, we left after Hannah's volleyball game for McLeod. We left late and arrived there just before 1 am. Kyle, Hannah, K'Lynn and I all grabbed a couple of hours of sleep and then off we went to Birmingham! Why were we going? Because our son, Ryan, was going to propose to his beautiful girlfriend Courtney. We have grown to love her like our own daughter over the past almost 2 years. She is everything I have prayed that God would package into the woman he would marry someday.
Saturday, we arrived in Birmingham in the afternoon. We were able to spend the evening with Ryan, seeing where he lives, where he works, having dinner and preparing ourselves for the next day's events. Church the next morning was like a secret service mission with Ryan's friends trying to make sure we were no where near Courtney. We have kept this quiet so well- we couldn't blow it at the last minute!! Lunch with Ryan, then the girls and I went to gather all the things we were going to use to set up the engagement site. Flowers, Sparkling cider, chocolate dipped strawberries, and an umbrella. Why? It was raining- had been raining all day- and the site he chose was outside. Back to the hotel, a quick nap, and then rushing to get ready. Out the door on time, but then we got lost on the way to the restaraunt to get the supper we ordered. We finally found the place, with the rain building. Just as we drove up, the text we got from Ryan was, "I need a tarp". What? I don't keep one in my purse! We jumped out of the truck with all of our gear and began to run up the hill to the pavillion. Wait....K'Lynn says Ryan says we are going to plan B. Wait? I am standing in the rain with tissue wrapped roses. I am dripping wet already!
OK...plan B. We drove quickly to his house and set up the dinner in his living room. We made it look beautiful! We went to find some dinner of our own...5 Guys. As we ate, we watched the live Twitter feed that Ryan had a friend doing of the whole scene. Just enough detail to totally get the idea of what was happening. I cried right there in the restaraunt...so happy for my son. Once dinner was over, we went to Courtney's aunt's house for a post-proposal party with lots of family and friends. This was also the moment when we got to meet the folks I will share grandbabies with someday! Susan and Bill are wonderful people! This is going to be fun!
The engagement party was amazing! They told us just how Ryan proposed. Courtney told us that she was so proud of him for finally proposing! One of the pictures that Ryan's friend took showed that moment perfectly- her arms raised in celebration! Speaking of pictures....times certainly have changed. I doubt anyone used to prepare with a photographer prior to proposing when Kyle and I got married. Now, though...it is pretty common. Ryan prepared very well and had his roommate in a rain poncho and hiding in the bushes with a long-range lens. He took wonderful pictures that allowed us all totally have the experience with them, after the fact. We celebrated with everyone and talked about the wonderful wedding that is coming in only 3 months! Late that night we made it back to the hotel, preparing to return to real life the next day.
Saturday, we arrived in Birmingham in the afternoon. We were able to spend the evening with Ryan, seeing where he lives, where he works, having dinner and preparing ourselves for the next day's events. Church the next morning was like a secret service mission with Ryan's friends trying to make sure we were no where near Courtney. We have kept this quiet so well- we couldn't blow it at the last minute!! Lunch with Ryan, then the girls and I went to gather all the things we were going to use to set up the engagement site. Flowers, Sparkling cider, chocolate dipped strawberries, and an umbrella. Why? It was raining- had been raining all day- and the site he chose was outside. Back to the hotel, a quick nap, and then rushing to get ready. Out the door on time, but then we got lost on the way to the restaraunt to get the supper we ordered. We finally found the place, with the rain building. Just as we drove up, the text we got from Ryan was, "I need a tarp". What? I don't keep one in my purse! We jumped out of the truck with all of our gear and began to run up the hill to the pavillion. Wait....K'Lynn says Ryan says we are going to plan B. Wait? I am standing in the rain with tissue wrapped roses. I am dripping wet already!
OK...plan B. We drove quickly to his house and set up the dinner in his living room. We made it look beautiful! We went to find some dinner of our own...5 Guys. As we ate, we watched the live Twitter feed that Ryan had a friend doing of the whole scene. Just enough detail to totally get the idea of what was happening. I cried right there in the restaraunt...so happy for my son. Once dinner was over, we went to Courtney's aunt's house for a post-proposal party with lots of family and friends. This was also the moment when we got to meet the folks I will share grandbabies with someday! Susan and Bill are wonderful people! This is going to be fun!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
So, the boys wanted a pop up camper...
Have you ever heard how the Childress' came to be a family of 5? It wasn't always the plan, for us to be a group of 5. For a while, 4 seemed sufficient. Kyle and I married so early- I was 16, he was 19. We had babies right away...22 months apart. By the time I was 20, I had a 3 year old and a 1 year old. We lived across the street from Kyle's parents and had a nice little life. I worked a little, went to school (college) a little, raised babies, and was a wife. It was a lot of responsibility for a young gal, but God always gave me what I needed to get it all done. Kyle was a great husband and father. We were getting used to this little group of 4...everyone was happy.
At 24, I decided that with a 7 year old and a 5 year old, I was done having babies. I didn't see a time in the future that I would think differently, so I made an appointment to see my favorite doctor, Dr. O'Kelley. He had delivered both of my kids, he was a Christian, and I trusted him. I went in, explained my situation, and asked if he would tie my tubes. I told him that I had gotten off to an early start and that I was finished having children. He listened, but at the end of our appointment, he told me no. He said that he didn't feel right about being the doctor that took away my opportunity to have more children at such a young age. He said that I was in a stable family and a stable marriage- someday I might change my mind about all of this. I was young and non-confrontational. I just said "Well, ok...." and went home. I told Kyle what he said. I told him, 'You know, I respect him. I guess for now we will wait.". So, we waited....
I went on to go to nursing school the next year. I was 25, and I was still working at Atlanta Memorial as a CNA. When I finished school, I changed shifts, became a medicaiton nurse (I was an LVN), and I was busy. Raising older babies, working lots of hours on the night shift, riding horses, rodeos with the kiddos, church work....we were busy folks!
One morning, I woke up with a new thought. I had never had this thought before and had to really think about it before I spoke it out loud. I knew in my heart what it was,though..
I had to have a baby.
I had to...just like I had to breathe. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
I told Kyle finally what I was thinking. The look of disbelief was evident on his face. I had never asked a question like this before. Although it shouldn't have, becoming pregnant with K'Lynn was a complete surprise. Ryan's pregnancy was not any more planned, but at least we were a little more settled by the time he came along. I had never even teased about becoming pregnant in the past. The few times my period was a little bit late, we were nervous. No more babies....right?
Well, not exactly...
Kyle had been thinking about the next "big" purchase we would make as a family. He had even mentioned it to me- a pop-up camper. With a 8 year old and a 6 year old by this time, that would be a reasonable purchase. Lots of fun hours to be spent at our favorite spots in Arkansas, Albert Pike or Shady Lake...lots of fun period! The idea of a new baby would really mess up that idea, I guess. We reached a compromise...ask the kids.
The family meeting was held one evening. No TV on (this was a serious discussion!), just the four of us sitting there talking. Kyle presented his case first. "What would you kids think about getting a new POP UP CAMPER???!!! We could go to Albert Pike or the Blue Hole...we could take the 4 wheelers and have so much fun!" (to be fair...I have no idea the exact words he used, but this was close I am sure!). Ryan was very excited about this idea. He LOVED camping and 4 wheeling....Kyle was speaking his love language! I could see how this was going to go. I was up next. I do not remember what I said either, except that I told them that I really wanted to have another baby. I wanted to give them a baby brother or sister to love. Simple, but heartfelt... K'Lynn, a nurturing soul, fell in love with the idea right away. She loved babies and this was right up her alley!
Time to vote....
"All for the Pop Up Camper, raise your hand"
Kyle and Ryan both enthusiastically raised their hands.
"All for a new baby, raise you hand"
K'Lynn and I raised our hands....we had a tie.
I made an executive decision. Since I would potentially carry this baby, I thought I should vote on his or her behalf. What would the baby want? A pop up camper is a great idea, but if I didn't vote to have the baby it would never get to go camping anyway! Two votes for Becky...one for K'Lynn- the girls WIN!!!
I stopped taking my birth control pills and gave Kyle a warning of the amended vote. He wasn't a sore loser... I think he really always wanted another baby, but wouldn't say so. It wasn't long at all...maybe 3 months? I found out that I was pregnant with the baby that we would come to know and love as Hannah.
We learned of her coming in March with a due date of October 8th, so it was a long and hot summer. Even though I had delivered two babies before, Hannah fooled me with false labor several times. My co-workers at the hospital began to think it funny how often I showed up in the ER. She has always had a flair for the dramatic! October 8th, I took a generous dose of castor oil about 10 pm. Put the kids to bed and went to bed myself. By 3 am, the kids were dropped off at MawMaw's house and Kyle and I were on our way to the hospital.
At 8:03 am, she arrived. Much smaller than a pop up camper, not necessarily any cheaper, and so much more rewarding. The girls won the vote, but the family won in the long run. I have remembered Dr. O'Kelly fondly many times over the years for standing strong in his decision not to allow me to have a tubal. He knew, somehow, that there was another baby out there for our family. Once I held her, I knew I was then finished having babies. Less than an hour later, I did get that tubal. Best decision ever. God had completed our family with Hannah. And God has such a sense of humor....4 years later, we purchased a 32 ft bumper pull travel trailer that we enjoyed WITH Hannah for many years. Better than any old pop up camper for sure!!
At 24, I decided that with a 7 year old and a 5 year old, I was done having babies. I didn't see a time in the future that I would think differently, so I made an appointment to see my favorite doctor, Dr. O'Kelley. He had delivered both of my kids, he was a Christian, and I trusted him. I went in, explained my situation, and asked if he would tie my tubes. I told him that I had gotten off to an early start and that I was finished having children. He listened, but at the end of our appointment, he told me no. He said that he didn't feel right about being the doctor that took away my opportunity to have more children at such a young age. He said that I was in a stable family and a stable marriage- someday I might change my mind about all of this. I was young and non-confrontational. I just said "Well, ok...." and went home. I told Kyle what he said. I told him, 'You know, I respect him. I guess for now we will wait.". So, we waited....
I went on to go to nursing school the next year. I was 25, and I was still working at Atlanta Memorial as a CNA. When I finished school, I changed shifts, became a medicaiton nurse (I was an LVN), and I was busy. Raising older babies, working lots of hours on the night shift, riding horses, rodeos with the kiddos, church work....we were busy folks!
One morning, I woke up with a new thought. I had never had this thought before and had to really think about it before I spoke it out loud. I knew in my heart what it was,though..
I had to have a baby.
I had to...just like I had to breathe. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
I told Kyle finally what I was thinking. The look of disbelief was evident on his face. I had never asked a question like this before. Although it shouldn't have, becoming pregnant with K'Lynn was a complete surprise. Ryan's pregnancy was not any more planned, but at least we were a little more settled by the time he came along. I had never even teased about becoming pregnant in the past. The few times my period was a little bit late, we were nervous. No more babies....right?
Well, not exactly...
Kyle had been thinking about the next "big" purchase we would make as a family. He had even mentioned it to me- a pop-up camper. With a 8 year old and a 6 year old by this time, that would be a reasonable purchase. Lots of fun hours to be spent at our favorite spots in Arkansas, Albert Pike or Shady Lake...lots of fun period! The idea of a new baby would really mess up that idea, I guess. We reached a compromise...ask the kids.
The family meeting was held one evening. No TV on (this was a serious discussion!), just the four of us sitting there talking. Kyle presented his case first. "What would you kids think about getting a new POP UP CAMPER???!!! We could go to Albert Pike or the Blue Hole...we could take the 4 wheelers and have so much fun!" (to be fair...I have no idea the exact words he used, but this was close I am sure!). Ryan was very excited about this idea. He LOVED camping and 4 wheeling....Kyle was speaking his love language! I could see how this was going to go. I was up next. I do not remember what I said either, except that I told them that I really wanted to have another baby. I wanted to give them a baby brother or sister to love. Simple, but heartfelt... K'Lynn, a nurturing soul, fell in love with the idea right away. She loved babies and this was right up her alley!
Time to vote....
"All for the Pop Up Camper, raise your hand"
Kyle and Ryan both enthusiastically raised their hands.
"All for a new baby, raise you hand"
K'Lynn and I raised our hands....we had a tie.
I made an executive decision. Since I would potentially carry this baby, I thought I should vote on his or her behalf. What would the baby want? A pop up camper is a great idea, but if I didn't vote to have the baby it would never get to go camping anyway! Two votes for Becky...one for K'Lynn- the girls WIN!!!
I stopped taking my birth control pills and gave Kyle a warning of the amended vote. He wasn't a sore loser... I think he really always wanted another baby, but wouldn't say so. It wasn't long at all...maybe 3 months? I found out that I was pregnant with the baby that we would come to know and love as Hannah.
We learned of her coming in March with a due date of October 8th, so it was a long and hot summer. Even though I had delivered two babies before, Hannah fooled me with false labor several times. My co-workers at the hospital began to think it funny how often I showed up in the ER. She has always had a flair for the dramatic! October 8th, I took a generous dose of castor oil about 10 pm. Put the kids to bed and went to bed myself. By 3 am, the kids were dropped off at MawMaw's house and Kyle and I were on our way to the hospital.
At 8:03 am, she arrived. Much smaller than a pop up camper, not necessarily any cheaper, and so much more rewarding. The girls won the vote, but the family won in the long run. I have remembered Dr. O'Kelly fondly many times over the years for standing strong in his decision not to allow me to have a tubal. He knew, somehow, that there was another baby out there for our family. Once I held her, I knew I was then finished having babies. Less than an hour later, I did get that tubal. Best decision ever. God had completed our family with Hannah. And God has such a sense of humor....4 years later, we purchased a 32 ft bumper pull travel trailer that we enjoyed WITH Hannah for many years. Better than any old pop up camper for sure!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)