Living life upside down...

Honduras is such a polar opposite from life in the US. Yesterday our teams went into a village to do food distribution. Bags of 2 lbs of rice and 2 lbs of red beans were issued to each home, whether there were 8 children there or just an elderly husband and wife. I gave away all of the snacks I brought for myself (I have not missed a meal and have over eaten- stark contrast to their lives) and hugged lots of children I will never see this side of heaven again. They are so different than our children in the US. No ADHD here...children are well-behaved and quiet. They are responsible for their younger siblings. They tend crops and animals. They don't wear shoes and aren't concerned with video games. They don't know what the internet is and have never held an iPad or iPhone. Life is different here, but they seem to have it more 'figured out' in some ways. Earning a living isn't a priority...living is their priority. Daddy and Mommys don't leave their homes to work in the city and bring home paychecks...they stay home and just survive. Heading out now...more later

Letting him go...

My little Lucky boy died yesterday.

A year ago, we almost lost him.  Because of the wonderful help of several friends and K'Lynn, Lucky was able to live here with us for another year.  He was happy, although he didn't move quite as quickly.  He enjoyed being with our family and with Lucy.  When Macks got here for the summer, they were 'running buddies'- running out the door any time it was opened and staying gone for way toooo long.  He had been doing well, but he suddenly changed on Tuesday night.  We returned from a long evening in Bryan for volleyball.  He didn't move as we came in.  The other dogs ran out to go potty, but he laid on the rug near my bedroom.  I recognized the signs of congestive heart failure pretty quickly- no surprise since his heart and lungs were so damaged from last year.  His breathing was fast and wet-sounding.  He had no energy.  There was some random blood on his back feet, but I couldn't find it's source.  I prepared Hannah and K'Lynn for what the next day would hold.  I told Kyle and he agreed.  I laid Lucky on a pillow, covered in a towel beside my bed for the night.  I prayed he would not be alive when I woke up, but he was.  He had mustered up enough energy to move from there to the dog bed near the TV sometime during the night.  When I saw this the next morning, I wondered if I had made the right plan.  He was still listless, though...

I called the vet and spoke with Jennifer.  She was so understanding.  I know they do this quite often, I am not a special case- but they made me feel very special.  I do not feel that I can share all of the details of his passing right now- it is too fresh.  Just know that I took him there with his dignity intact.  He walked down the ramp from the porch to the car on his own steam.  He stopped to mark our house one last time.  The clots and bloody urine affirmed to me that my thinking was correct.  He sat up in the car on his little brown blanket the whole way to the vet.  He did allow me to carry him in and to hold him as we waited.  His eyes were a little scared at times, but mostly just tired.  Dr. Dewberry hugged me afterwards and told me that I had done the right thing.  She said that she was surpised we were able to keep him alive for a whole year because of the serious damage he suffered last summer.  She herself walked me out to the car and helped me place my sweet puppy into the back seat.  As I took him home, I called K'Lynn to tell her that it was over.  She was sad, but relieved.  

 I met Kyle and Hannah near the church.  Kyle placed Lucky in a hole he dug himself.  I stood there crying, telling Lucky that he had been a good dog.  I told him that if dogs do go to heaven, that I would see him there.  Hannah hugged me and we watched Kyle close the open hole.  The sweat and exhertion was theraputic for Kyle...Hannah and I didn't have that outlet.  We chose to spend the day together and talked about what a great dog he had been.  She was like ointment to an open wound for me- ministering to me though her presence. 

Lucy and Macks are still confused- going to the door to look for Lucky.  I am too.  I know God gave me peace to make the decision, but I still miss that little Lucky boy.  So thankful for the very best Mother's Day present anyone ever gave me 9 years ago.  I loved you Lucky....you will always be the best dog ever, in my mind.