I have a friend that describes herself as a fixer. We have worked together to fix a couple of things, and I must say- she is good at it! She seems to know how to read people and how to insert just enough wisdom and just enough advice at just the right time. She tries to 'fix' situations with her kids, with her family, and with her friends. She gets frustrated when she doesn't know what to do next to 'fix' it. She does recognize that she is doing this, which has to be a huge portion of the battle. She admits that she is trying to work things out sometimes...and sometimes she succeeds.
Fixing things comes naturally to us both, I guess, since we are moms, wives, sisters, daughters, friends...it comes with the territory. Our children come to us with problems and want us to fix them. At least when they are little...as they get older they don't want to admit they need help with their problems. Our husbands want us to fix things: food, problems, issues, etc... They are also great at offering advice on how to fix the messes in our lives. Seems everyone is a bit of a 'fixer'!
God is a fixer too. He fixes situations that we mess up. He fixes broken hearts. He fixes fractured relationships. He fixes things. The difference is that He also is the one that allowed our brokenness. He is the God that gave us free will and choices. The choices we make often lead to the need to be fixed. Funny how that works. So, bring God your broken situations. He knows the perfect answer to fix them. He knows when things have to happen to bring about reconciliation. Do not become frustrated while waiting for the solution. He will do it in His time. It is perfect. Fixers- trust God with your problems. He is the one that can bring about a true resolution. Be still...more advice from that good friend. Sometimes it is the hardest thing to do, but only then are we allowing God to do His work. Psalms 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." He has got this!!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
The table factor...
What effect does a dining room table have on a church? What about rice and gravy? Could a crock pot pork loin change the direction of a church? I think that it could.
We came to our church 4 years ago. We made a point of inviting people into our home for meals. I love to cook and it is a fun way to get to know people better. In our first house, there was very little room. Having guests over was a challenge, but we did manage. We moved into a second house after about 18 months and tried to entertain a litttle more. AC and heating was a bit of a challenge there, so it was also difficult. We finally got into the parsonage in January 2011. We began to have more families over. Week after week, one family and then another.
I would suppose that we have had more than 100 different people here for meals. I have a few dishes that I make without fail, other times I have expeimented. Hannah is a great cook also, so we cook together quite often. There was that time when we made fried chicken, cooked it too fast and it was all bloody on the inside. Our guests were very understanding as we collected their meat and mircrowaved it. Never again. We have used the crock pot and the oven...the stove and the mircrowave. We have had roasts, we have had biscuits. We have had rice and gravy, lots of Sister Schubert's rolls, and lots of banana pudding. We have had lots of fellowship and lots of sharing.
What does this have to do with our church, you ask? Well, our church grown. Nor directly related to the table or the meals, but sort of. The people that have been in our home for meals know us better than those that haven't been there. The relationship is a little deeper. The understanding of who we are is there. Preacher or not, Kyle is just a real guy. When you come here, you see that he drinks way too much sweet tea. You see that Hannah's bathroom isn't spotless. You see that our dogs live inside and think that you love them, even if you don't. You will see my collection of antique kitchen stuff and Kyle's cast iron. You will see Grandma's room and our back porch- complete with all of the laundry on it. You will know that the "Real, Relevant and Ready" motto that our church has is alive and well in our home. By having guests over to eat in our home, we are trying to lead by example. We want our church body to understand that investing in each other is totally worth it. We want our families to develop relationships that are deep and lasting.
I am looking forward to inviting more people into this home that God has provided us with. I know that each meal adds a new layer to the church body. I am thankful to be right where God has placed me and I don't mind doing the dishes!
We came to our church 4 years ago. We made a point of inviting people into our home for meals. I love to cook and it is a fun way to get to know people better. In our first house, there was very little room. Having guests over was a challenge, but we did manage. We moved into a second house after about 18 months and tried to entertain a litttle more. AC and heating was a bit of a challenge there, so it was also difficult. We finally got into the parsonage in January 2011. We began to have more families over. Week after week, one family and then another.
I would suppose that we have had more than 100 different people here for meals. I have a few dishes that I make without fail, other times I have expeimented. Hannah is a great cook also, so we cook together quite often. There was that time when we made fried chicken, cooked it too fast and it was all bloody on the inside. Our guests were very understanding as we collected their meat and mircrowaved it. Never again. We have used the crock pot and the oven...the stove and the mircrowave. We have had roasts, we have had biscuits. We have had rice and gravy, lots of Sister Schubert's rolls, and lots of banana pudding. We have had lots of fellowship and lots of sharing.
What does this have to do with our church, you ask? Well, our church grown. Nor directly related to the table or the meals, but sort of. The people that have been in our home for meals know us better than those that haven't been there. The relationship is a little deeper. The understanding of who we are is there. Preacher or not, Kyle is just a real guy. When you come here, you see that he drinks way too much sweet tea. You see that Hannah's bathroom isn't spotless. You see that our dogs live inside and think that you love them, even if you don't. You will see my collection of antique kitchen stuff and Kyle's cast iron. You will see Grandma's room and our back porch- complete with all of the laundry on it. You will know that the "Real, Relevant and Ready" motto that our church has is alive and well in our home. By having guests over to eat in our home, we are trying to lead by example. We want our church body to understand that investing in each other is totally worth it. We want our families to develop relationships that are deep and lasting.
I am looking forward to inviting more people into this home that God has provided us with. I know that each meal adds a new layer to the church body. I am thankful to be right where God has placed me and I don't mind doing the dishes!
What are we doing tomorrow?
Although she doesn't do this anymore, this was the question that Hannah asked everynight as I would tuck her into bed. I still "tuck her in" (turn off her light, ask how her life is, etc...), but we don't have quite the same routine anymore. As a little girl, though, she asked this every night because she needed time to think about the day. She is a planner. She likes to know what to expect.
Hannah is not the first born in our family, but since there are 8 years between her and Ryan, she is a first born of sorts. She is in a position of being the baby and an only child all at the same time. She is being raised in a house by herself since K'Lynn and Ryan are both our on their own. She is being raised much differently than K'Lynn and Ryan were. She is the only kid and therefore we are able to give her more than K'Lynn and Ryan had. She is involved in almost everything at school- sports, FCA, academics, etc... She is this odd combination of both K'Lynn, Ryan, Kyle and me. She is atheletic like Ryan and Kyle. She is smart like K'Lynn, but is able to balance that with life like Ryan always did. She is sensitive like I am, K'Lynn too. She loves music like Ryan does, and loves clothes like K'Lynn does. She reminds me of myself at her age in someways, but completely not in other ways. She loves life and isn't prone to anxiety or depression. She loves those that she loves very deeply and has little patience for some others. She is funny and enjoys telling silly jokes. She keeps secrets well and is a good friend. I want to be like her when I grow up.
I wish I knew what we were doing tomorrow...whatever it is, she is going to do it well. I love that kiddo, in case you can't tell.
Hannah is not the first born in our family, but since there are 8 years between her and Ryan, she is a first born of sorts. She is in a position of being the baby and an only child all at the same time. She is being raised in a house by herself since K'Lynn and Ryan are both our on their own. She is being raised much differently than K'Lynn and Ryan were. She is the only kid and therefore we are able to give her more than K'Lynn and Ryan had. She is involved in almost everything at school- sports, FCA, academics, etc... She is this odd combination of both K'Lynn, Ryan, Kyle and me. She is atheletic like Ryan and Kyle. She is smart like K'Lynn, but is able to balance that with life like Ryan always did. She is sensitive like I am, K'Lynn too. She loves music like Ryan does, and loves clothes like K'Lynn does. She reminds me of myself at her age in someways, but completely not in other ways. She loves life and isn't prone to anxiety or depression. She loves those that she loves very deeply and has little patience for some others. She is funny and enjoys telling silly jokes. She keeps secrets well and is a good friend. I want to be like her when I grow up.
I wish I knew what we were doing tomorrow...whatever it is, she is going to do it well. I love that kiddo, in case you can't tell.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Seeking Financial Peace....
We started Financial Peace University three weeks ago at our church. We have about 50 people going through this journey together. We are all using new terms and thinking differently about every penny we spend. We are all trying to make better choices and change the futures of our families one dollar at a time. For our family, we have spent the past 27 years trying to live out the American dream. We have tried to keep up with the Joneses, tried to provide the kids with everything they needed and wanted, tried to keep our heads above water, and just tried to survive. No more... now, with a purpose!
Budget committee meetings are now part of our week. We pass out 'commission' to ourselves and try to make that last through the week. We discuss all purchases, we talk about "if" we should eat out- not just where, and we don't just buy clothes and goodies any old time we want to. Not living deprived, just living intentionally. Thinking harder about each thing I buy is normal now. Wondering "Do I already have this somewhere at home?" or "What other item do I have or could I get more cheaply to accomplish the same end?" are part of the equation. Homemade Febreeze, homemade laundry detergent, using vinegar a lot and other ways to save are the norm instead of 200 bottles of various other things. It is do-able!
I never want my kids to be where I have been financially. I want them to make good choices. I want them not to struggle. I want them to prepare better to have children someday than we did. To be fair, 8 months was not enough time to prepare way back then! God saw us through it then and always has. For now, we are going to 'live like no one else so that later we can live like no one else!".
Budget committee meetings are now part of our week. We pass out 'commission' to ourselves and try to make that last through the week. We discuss all purchases, we talk about "if" we should eat out- not just where, and we don't just buy clothes and goodies any old time we want to. Not living deprived, just living intentionally. Thinking harder about each thing I buy is normal now. Wondering "Do I already have this somewhere at home?" or "What other item do I have or could I get more cheaply to accomplish the same end?" are part of the equation. Homemade Febreeze, homemade laundry detergent, using vinegar a lot and other ways to save are the norm instead of 200 bottles of various other things. It is do-able!
I never want my kids to be where I have been financially. I want them to make good choices. I want them not to struggle. I want them to prepare better to have children someday than we did. To be fair, 8 months was not enough time to prepare way back then! God saw us through it then and always has. For now, we are going to 'live like no one else so that later we can live like no one else!".
Monday, August 27, 2012
she is a sophomore...OMG!!
Took Hannah to school today. She started the 10th grade...Oh My Gosh!! Where is the little girl that I used to hang out with? The young woman I dropped off at ASCISD was not the same little pony tailed toddler that went to Children's Choice. Now we have an athelete, a girlfriend, a leader, a missionary, and a wonderful daughter in place of that little Hannah. She can be bossy, short tempered, and a little snotty. She can also be thoughtful, hopeful, committed, and quite an example for others. She has learned over the past many years to fight for things she believes in and wants, to be patient (at times!), to speak her mind, and to lead others. She has been rewarded for this determination. She takes pride in how she looks. She is proud of her academic acheivements. She is thinking of how she will spend her future and knows a lot about what she thinks she wants anyway. She is totally open to whatever God has for her and trusts His plan. How could you not be proud of a child like that?
The journey...
What part is the most important part? The planning, the execution, or enjoying the acheivement? I am a planner...I like to think a lot about how things are going to go. I like to dream about what each step looks like. I like to imagine the things that will be said and how it will evolve. Execution is not quite as important to me. That is the part that stresses me out. I do enjoy the 'enjoying the acheivement' part, but not as much as step one. That could be just me, but I think I am not alone.
Some of these traits could be from my firstborn status. I am a listmaker (not ensuring that I will perform the tasks on the list, just that I made one), I am bossy and I always assume the waitress wants my drink order no matter how many people are at our table. Another odd thing is how I re-read text message and journal entries 100000 times. Maybe I do enjoy the acheivement step more than I originally thought. I love that reading and re-reading to relive and analyze the moment, but actually I think I am back at step one- planning the next talk, entry, or encounter.
I suppose that God is quite the planner also. When Jesus told us that he was going to prepare a place for us, that indicated to me that there was work to be done. As a child, I imagined work crews building masions in heaven and wondered how long it was going to take. It's been over 2000 years since He made this promise. That is a lot of time for planning. Someday soon, we will enter the execution part of that plan- the going to heaven part. Once we're there, we will enter the final setp- enjoying the acheivement. I am looking forward to the whole journey. If this much planning has gone into it, I cannot wait to get there!!
Some of these traits could be from my firstborn status. I am a listmaker (not ensuring that I will perform the tasks on the list, just that I made one), I am bossy and I always assume the waitress wants my drink order no matter how many people are at our table. Another odd thing is how I re-read text message and journal entries 100000 times. Maybe I do enjoy the acheivement step more than I originally thought. I love that reading and re-reading to relive and analyze the moment, but actually I think I am back at step one- planning the next talk, entry, or encounter.
I suppose that God is quite the planner also. When Jesus told us that he was going to prepare a place for us, that indicated to me that there was work to be done. As a child, I imagined work crews building masions in heaven and wondered how long it was going to take. It's been over 2000 years since He made this promise. That is a lot of time for planning. Someday soon, we will enter the execution part of that plan- the going to heaven part. Once we're there, we will enter the final setp- enjoying the acheivement. I am looking forward to the whole journey. If this much planning has gone into it, I cannot wait to get there!!
Friday, August 24, 2012
No "DTR" required...
Do you want to be my girlfriend? Check ____yes _____no
Did you ever get a note like this when you were in school? Actually when I was in school, the question was 'will you GO with me'? Don't know where we were going....but that was the question. I went with several different guys before I met Kyle. There was Robert K in Kindergarten and Danny D. in Jr. High. I was asked by Michael B, but it was more like holding hands with my cousin or something, so I said no. I went with Andy W and loved him like a 13 year old would. We talked on the phone and saw each other regularly, despite the 30 or so miles between us. I was his girlfriend as evidenced by the FFA jacket I wore of his daily like a badge of honor. This was before cell phones or texting. Life was so much simpler then!!
Fast forward to today. When a relationship is everyone's business in seconds with two clicks of a keyboard, life is so complicated. When a change 'into' or 'out of' a relationship can be 'liked' by so many, the rules change. Suddenly the whole world (FB world anyway) gives approval of a person's personal lives. Instead of one or two friends that might have the ear of a girl or guy, offering advice on how to handle the relationship, you now have inserted hundreds. Talk about complicated!
I have seen this relationship status change affect people. It gets really hard when you can see someone move on. The ex gets hurt and the one moving on is stuck trying to be sensitive to everyone. Don't post too many pics...try not to say too much on the new person's wall...do I hide the ex? So many questions! FB once again has changed the world. What if we could get past some of that? What if a couple could reach a place where they realize that it is not the business of everyone else whether they are in a relationship or not? What if they could reach a place where they realize they do not have to have the approval of their peers to spend time with each other. Imagine the freedom of not caring about the stamp of approval of others. That is progress!
Defining the relationship (DTR) is often more important to outside people, rather than the two that are dating. It is not really required if the heart is involved, only if everyone else is. I think that to have surpassed the "relationship status" button on FB is a great sign of maturity.
Did you ever get a note like this when you were in school? Actually when I was in school, the question was 'will you GO with me'? Don't know where we were going....but that was the question. I went with several different guys before I met Kyle. There was Robert K in Kindergarten and Danny D. in Jr. High. I was asked by Michael B, but it was more like holding hands with my cousin or something, so I said no. I went with Andy W and loved him like a 13 year old would. We talked on the phone and saw each other regularly, despite the 30 or so miles between us. I was his girlfriend as evidenced by the FFA jacket I wore of his daily like a badge of honor. This was before cell phones or texting. Life was so much simpler then!!
Fast forward to today. When a relationship is everyone's business in seconds with two clicks of a keyboard, life is so complicated. When a change 'into' or 'out of' a relationship can be 'liked' by so many, the rules change. Suddenly the whole world (FB world anyway) gives approval of a person's personal lives. Instead of one or two friends that might have the ear of a girl or guy, offering advice on how to handle the relationship, you now have inserted hundreds. Talk about complicated!
I have seen this relationship status change affect people. It gets really hard when you can see someone move on. The ex gets hurt and the one moving on is stuck trying to be sensitive to everyone. Don't post too many pics...try not to say too much on the new person's wall...do I hide the ex? So many questions! FB once again has changed the world. What if we could get past some of that? What if a couple could reach a place where they realize that it is not the business of everyone else whether they are in a relationship or not? What if they could reach a place where they realize they do not have to have the approval of their peers to spend time with each other. Imagine the freedom of not caring about the stamp of approval of others. That is progress!
Defining the relationship (DTR) is often more important to outside people, rather than the two that are dating. It is not really required if the heart is involved, only if everyone else is. I think that to have surpassed the "relationship status" button on FB is a great sign of maturity.
Monday, August 6, 2012
What a friend...
Friends are somehting I have always wondered about. Do I need them? Do they need me? Should I even have them? Is my own family enough? Here is the thing: I have a great husband that I consider my best friend. Do I need anyone else? I have a sister that I love to talk to for hours on end. Do I need anyone else? I have two great sisters-in-law that I always enjoy talking with and visiting when I can. Do I need anyone else? I have two daughters that are both wonderful to talk with and spend time with. Isn't that enough?
no
We are designed for relationships. Friends can provide perspective that family cannot. Choose these friends wisely, but you should choose one or two. Sounding board, counselor, confidant, therapist, partner in crime- there are so many roles a friend can fill in your life.
Proverbs 11:14 says "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." I have learned recently that I need to run things past someone else. Whenever I do it 'on my own', I get in trouble. I can only hear my own thoughts in my head, so saying things out loud (or in the case of one of my dear friends- texting them) gives me the chance to try them out before making decisions based on just my feelings.
I am thankful that God has given me friends like I have. Many different ones, and each one fills a different role. I have shopping friends, ballgame friends, church friends, traveling friends, eating out friends, phone friends, FB friends, texting friends- there are so many!! I am who I am because of the influence they have each had on my life. I love each of them. God sure knew what I needed when he gave them to me!!
no
We are designed for relationships. Friends can provide perspective that family cannot. Choose these friends wisely, but you should choose one or two. Sounding board, counselor, confidant, therapist, partner in crime- there are so many roles a friend can fill in your life.
Proverbs 11:14 says "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." I have learned recently that I need to run things past someone else. Whenever I do it 'on my own', I get in trouble. I can only hear my own thoughts in my head, so saying things out loud (or in the case of one of my dear friends- texting them) gives me the chance to try them out before making decisions based on just my feelings.
I am thankful that God has given me friends like I have. Many different ones, and each one fills a different role. I have shopping friends, ballgame friends, church friends, traveling friends, eating out friends, phone friends, FB friends, texting friends- there are so many!! I am who I am because of the influence they have each had on my life. I love each of them. God sure knew what I needed when he gave them to me!!
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