I have been thinking a lot lately about the pain each of us carries that no one else can see. It can be physical or emotional. Either way, it is virtually invisible to the outside world. Sometimes others can see it, but only if they choose to look closely. Most of the time, though, we carry it alone. If you have never felt this, count yourself lucky. If you know what I mean, then you are in good company.
I began thinking of this two years ago when I was preparing for a hysterectomy. I walked into a store the day before the surgery to buy new slippers for the hospital. The thought crossed my mind that I must look to anyone else just like an ordinary gal that needed new house shoes. On the inside, though, all of the "what if"s were playing over and over in my head. I thought about how this preoccupation with the surgery and my fear caused me to be a little rude to those around me. I was completely self-absorbed. As I made it though the surgery, I realized I had worried for nothing. God was in control and His plan was for me to recover quickly and fully. In the moment, though, I was hurting emotionally with no one to console me. My faith in God got me through, but it was still hard.
My youngest, Hannah, experiences this silent and hidden pain. We have spent the last 4 days dealing with another round of ovarian cyst pain and everything that goes along with it. It is one of those vague, hard to describe types of pain that tends to be dismissed by many medical professionals. In the ER last night, a very well meaning doctor admitted that the problem was " something female related" and gave us meds for pain. He really did not know what else to do, but at least he addressed the main and immediate problem. Anyone that has not experienced this probably does not really understand it. She misses school, she cannot do many of the things expected in athletics at times, and seems to complain a lot to some. In reality, she is tough as nails and this is very painful. I have seen her suck it up and do whatever needed done, even though she was hurting so badly. I know that she will be a much stronger person for getting through this. It is my job in the mean time to support her through the invisible pain.
I have friends that live with Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, Anxiety, Depression, feelings of despair....the list goes on and on. It is not like having a broken bone that you get a cast on for everyone to sign. These are conditions that usually have no outward symptoms, but the pain is very real. The good news is that God sees that pain. He wants us to lean on Him for strength and support. He can meet our needs and heal our pain.
I guess I am putting this out there as a pledge that I will try to be more sensitive to those around me in pain of any type. I will do what I can to help, even if that is just acknowledging it's existence. Everyone needs to feel heard and validated. Love you all....
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