I am chosen...

Sunday marks a new chapter in my life as a preacher's wife.  I will be teaching a women's Sunday School class.  Women of all ages have been invited to join this newly formed class.  It goes along with the new "flip-flop" service schedule.  I am acually pretty excited about the whole thing.

The first chapter of the study we are doing (http://www.lifeway.com/Product/duty-or-delight-knowing-where-you-stand-with-god-member-book-P005429354) talks about how we, as women, listen to the lies of Satan.   Those lies we have all heard, such as "you aren't good enough", "You will always really be alone",  "You aren't pretty enough, smart enough, ________enough".  We have heard them, and we have fallen for them.  

The take away from this very first section is "I AM CHOSEN".  It is based on Ephesians 1:4, where we read "For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight.".  He chose me.

The study says that in the next few weeks we will learn how to put our feet down and stop putting up with what we've been putting up with.  It's time for the condenmation to stop.  It's time for the guilt to stop.  It's time for the prayerlessness to stop.  It's time for the fear to stop.  It's time for all those false expectations to stop.  It's time you enjoyed your God.  I could sure use some of that!!

I feel nervous about teaching this class, but I am convicted in the very begining of the study NOT to feel that way!  So, since I am chosen...I will teach.  Join me if you want to...11 am on Sundays.  It should be a lot of fun!!

The new normal...

The family was all here over the weekend, as I previously mentioned.  With the departure of Ryan, Courtney and Macks, we have now begun to settle into the new normal.  Lucy is an only puppy now. She is even more needy than before.  She sleeps right in between Kyle and I every night.  She sits outside the door of any room I go into until I come out.  She whines a lot when we are out of her sight.  She has really begun to realize that she is alone,  dog-wise, anyway.

Lucky died in June.  It was not that hard to work through at the time, with so much going on with Lucy and Macks.  A busy summer helped to keep that grief at bay also, but now it seems much more real.  Lucy feels it, I am begining to.  Lucky was such a great housemate for Lucy.  He put up with her silly puppy antics.  He let her jump all over him (literally!) and played back when he felt like it.  He was much more relaxed than Lucy.  He did not feel the need to chase grasshoppers or squirrels, but watched her do it in his relaxed way.  He let her eat first, let her have the biggest rawhides, and occassionally let her know who was really in charge.  They were great to watch together and he was a great big brother.  He was tired, though.  He was worn out from being sick for so long.   He died suddenly and is buried down the hill in back of the church under a big tree.  He is buried near Molly, Lucy's half sister, that died the week before we got Lucy.  He rests there peacefully, I am sure.

So, this is the new normal- for now.  I can definetely see a time when there are two dogs here again.  It could be soon...I am unsure.  I don't know where I want to look to find one.  Many voices are  weighing in on how I should only go to the pound or a rescue. I am not opposed to this, but want to make sure it is right for us.  Kyle will continue to take care of our Lucy during the day for a while.  She will continue to get a little more attention than normal, the old normal anyway!  Grandma is gone to East Texas while Grandpa has his hip removed.  Lucy will be so glad to have her home next week so that she won't be so alone.  Hope this isn't the new normal for long!

The weekend...

What an amazing weekend!  Ryan and Courtney were here, K'Lynn was here, Debbie and the boys were here,  Madeline and Travis were here, Kalem and Erik were here, Kristi and Caroline were here, Carson was here, Trisha was here, Andrew and Kim were here and even little Audra was here a couple of times.  It was such a mixture of family and friends that the lines were almost non-existent.  These friends and family are our family. These are the ones we want to spend time with when we have fun things going on.  Ryan and Courtney traveled the farthest, 12 hours.  Debbie was next, about 2 hours, tied with K'Lynn.  Kristi came over an hour and Travis and Madeline just less than an hour.  Everyone coming together for a celebration of....each other!  It was Labor Day weekend, but it wasn't about that.  It was a celebration of Ryan and Courtney coming home really.   The trip was functional- for them to pick up Macks, but everyone here was just excited that they were coming!  Saturday was a huge meal of fried pork chops, rice and gravy, greens, cornbread, carrots, homemade chocolate cake and ice cream.  Sunday was almost a repeat for lunch and sauce picante for supper.  The food was good, the fellowship was great.  It was almost overwhelming at times, having so many people that have so much to say all together in the house at once.  It was too hot to be outside, so we gathered inside.  The AC was doing all it could, but it was still stuffy at times.   The fans were working and we were thankful for them!

This morning, Ryan and Courtney packed up the car, along with Macks, and headed back to Birmingham.  I miss them already.  I look forward to the holidays when I am sure we will see them again.  Sure enjoyed the weekend, though....

Fixer by nature

I have a friend that describes herself as a fixer.  We have worked together to fix a couple of things, and I must say- she is good at it!  She seems to know how to read people and how to insert just enough wisdom and just enough advice at just the right time.  She tries to 'fix' situations with her kids, with her family, and with her friends.  She gets frustrated when she doesn't know what to do next to 'fix' it.  She does recognize that she is doing this, which has to be a huge portion of the battle.  She admits that she is trying to work things out sometimes...and sometimes she succeeds.

Fixing things comes naturally to us both, I guess,  since we are moms, wives, sisters, daughters, friends...it comes with the territory.  Our children come to us with problems and want us to fix them.  At least when they are little...as they get older they don't want to admit they need help with their problems.  Our husbands want us to fix things:  food, problems, issues, etc... They are also great at offering advice on how to fix the messes in our lives.  Seems everyone is a bit of a 'fixer'!

God is a fixer too.  He fixes situations that we mess up.  He fixes broken hearts.  He fixes fractured relationships.  He fixes things.  The difference is that He also is the one that allowed our brokenness.  He is the God that gave us free will and choices.  The choices we make often lead to the need to be fixed.  Funny how that works.  So, bring God your broken situations.  He knows the perfect answer to fix them. He knows when things have to happen to bring about reconciliation.  Do not become frustrated while waiting for the solution.  He will do it in His time.  It is perfect.  Fixers- trust God with your problems.  He is the one that can bring about a true resolution.  Be still...more advice from that good friend.  Sometimes it is the hardest thing to do, but only then are we allowing God to do His work.   Psalms 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  He has got this!!

The table factor...

What effect does a dining room table have on a church?  What about rice and gravy?  Could a crock pot pork loin change the direction of a church?  I think that it could.

We came to our church 4 years ago.  We made a point of inviting people into our home for meals.  I love to cook and it is a fun way to get to know people better.  In our first house, there was very little room.  Having guests over was a challenge, but we did manage.  We moved into a second house after about 18 months  and tried to entertain a litttle more.  AC and heating was a bit of a challenge there, so it was also difficult.  We finally got into the parsonage in January 2011.  We began to have more families over.  Week after week, one family and then another.

   I would suppose that we have had more than 100 different people here for meals.  I have a few dishes that I make without fail, other times I have expeimented.  Hannah is a great cook also, so we cook together quite often.  There was that time when we made fried chicken, cooked it too fast and it was all bloody on the inside.  Our guests were very understanding as we collected  their meat and mircrowaved it.   Never again.   We have used the crock pot and the oven...the stove and the mircrowave.  We have had roasts, we have had biscuits.  We have had rice and gravy,  lots of Sister  Schubert's rolls, and  lots of banana pudding.  We have had lots of fellowship and lots of sharing.  

What does this have to do with our church, you ask?  Well, our church grown.  Nor directly related to the table or the meals, but sort of.  The people that have been in our home for meals know us better than those that haven't been there.  The relationship is a little deeper.  The understanding of who we are is there.   Preacher or not, Kyle is just a real guy.  When you come here, you see that he drinks way too much sweet tea.  You see that Hannah's bathroom isn't spotless.  You see  that our dogs live inside and think that you love them, even if you don't.  You will see my collection of antique kitchen stuff and Kyle's cast iron.  You will see Grandma's room and our back porch- complete with all of the laundry on it.  You will know that the "Real, Relevant and Ready" motto that our church has is alive and well in our home.  By having guests over to eat in our home, we are trying to lead by example.  We want  our church body to  understand that investing in each other is totally worth it.  We want our families to develop relationships that are deep and lasting.  

I am looking forward to inviting more people into this home that God has provided us with.   I know that each meal adds a new layer to the church body.   I am thankful to be right where God has placed me and I don't mind doing the dishes!

What are we doing tomorrow?

Although she doesn't do this anymore, this was the question that Hannah asked everynight as I would tuck her into bed.  I still "tuck her in" (turn off her light, ask how  her life is, etc...), but we don't have quite the same routine anymore.  As a little girl, though, she asked this every night because she needed time to think about the day.  She is a planner.  She likes to know what to expect.

Hannah is not the first born in our family, but since there are 8 years between her and Ryan, she is a first born of sorts.  She is in a position of being the baby and  an only child all at the same time.  She is being raised in a house by herself since K'Lynn and Ryan are both our on their own.  She is being raised much differently than K'Lynn and Ryan were.  She is the only kid and therefore we are able to give her more than K'Lynn and Ryan had.  She is involved in almost everything at school- sports, FCA, academics, etc...  She is this odd combination of both K'Lynn, Ryan, Kyle and me.   She is atheletic like Ryan and Kyle.  She is smart like K'Lynn, but is able to balance that with life like Ryan always did.  She is sensitive like I am, K'Lynn too.  She loves music like Ryan does, and loves clothes like K'Lynn does.  She reminds me of myself at her age in someways, but completely not in other ways.   She loves life and isn't prone to anxiety or depression.  She loves those that she loves very deeply and has little patience for some others.  She is funny and enjoys telling silly jokes.  She keeps secrets well and is a good friend.  I want to be like her when I grow up.

I wish I knew what we were doing tomorrow...whatever it is, she is going to do it well.  I love that kiddo, in case you can't tell.

Seeking Financial Peace....

We started Financial Peace University three weeks ago at our church.  We have about 50 people going through this journey together.  We are all using new terms and thinking differently about every penny we spend.  We are all trying to make better choices and change the futures of our families one dollar at a time.  For our family, we have spent the past 27 years trying to live out the American dream.  We have tried to keep up with the Joneses, tried to provide the kids with everything they needed and wanted, tried to keep our heads above water, and just tried to survive.    No more... now, with a purpose!

Budget committee meetings are now part of our week.  We pass out 'commission' to ourselves and try to make that last through the week.  We discuss all purchases, we talk about "if" we should eat out- not just where, and we don't just buy clothes and goodies any old time we want to.  Not living deprived, just living intentionally.  Thinking harder about each thing I buy is normal now.  Wondering "Do I already have this somewhere at home?" or "What other item do I have or could I get more cheaply to accomplish the same end?" are part of the equation.  Homemade Febreeze, homemade laundry detergent, using vinegar a lot and other ways to save are the norm instead of 200 bottles of various other things.  It is do-able!

I never want my kids to be where I have been financially.  I want them to make good choices.  I want them not to struggle.  I want them to prepare better to have children someday than we did.  To be fair,  8 months was not enough time to prepare way back then!  God saw us through it then and always has.  For now, we are going to 'live like no one else so that later we can live like no  one else!".  

she is a sophomore...OMG!!

Took Hannah to school today.  She started the  10th grade...Oh My Gosh!!  Where is the little girl that I used to hang out with?  The young woman I dropped off at ASCISD was not the same little pony tailed toddler that went to Children's Choice.  Now we have an athelete, a girlfriend, a leader, a missionary, and a wonderful daughter in place of that little Hannah.    She can be bossy, short tempered, and a little snotty.  She can also be thoughtful, hopeful, committed, and quite an example for others.  She has learned over the past many years to fight for things she believes in and wants, to be patient (at times!), to speak her mind, and to lead others.  She has been rewarded for this determination.  She takes pride in how she looks.  She  is proud of her academic acheivements.  She is thinking of how she will spend her future and knows a lot about what she thinks she wants anyway.  She is totally open to whatever God has for her and trusts His plan.  How could you not be proud of a child like that?  

The journey...

What part is the most important part?  The planning, the execution, or enjoying the acheivement?  I am a planner...I like to think a lot about how things are going to go.  I like to dream about what each step looks like.  I like to imagine the things that will be said and how it will evolve.  Execution is not quite as important to me.  That is the part that stresses me out.  I do enjoy the 'enjoying the acheivement' part, but not as much as step one.  That could be just me, but  I think  I am not alone.  

Some of these traits could be from my firstborn status.  I am a listmaker (not ensuring that I will perform the tasks on the list, just that I made one), I am bossy and I always assume the waitress wants my drink order no matter how many people are at our table.  Another odd thing is how I re-read text message and journal entries 100000 times.  Maybe I do enjoy the acheivement step more than I originally thought.  I love that reading and re-reading to relive and analyze the moment, but actually I think I am back at step one- planning the next talk, entry, or encounter. 

 I suppose that God is quite the planner also.  When Jesus told us that he was going to prepare a place for us, that indicated to me that there was work to be done.  As a child, I imagined work crews building masions in heaven and wondered how long it was going to take.  It's been over 2000 years since He made this promise.  That is a lot of time for planning.  Someday soon, we will enter the execution part of that plan- the going to heaven part.  Once we're there, we will enter the final setp- enjoying the acheivement. I am looking forward to the whole journey.  If this much planning has gone into it, I cannot wait to get there!!

No "DTR" required...

Do you want to be my girlfriend?  Check  ____yes     _____no

Did you ever get a note like this when you were in school?  Actually when I was in school, the question was 'will you GO with me'?  Don't know where we were going....but that was the question.  I went with several different guys before I met Kyle.  There was Robert K in Kindergarten and Danny D. in Jr. High.  I was asked by Michael B, but it was more like holding hands with my cousin or something, so I said no.  I went with Andy W and  loved him like a 13 year old would.  We talked on the phone and saw each other regularly, despite the 30 or so miles between us.  I was his girlfriend as evidenced by the FFA jacket I wore of his daily like a badge of honor. This was before cell phones or texting. Life was so much simpler then!!

Fast forward to today. When a relationship is everyone's business in seconds with two clicks of a keyboard, life is so complicated.  When a change 'into' or 'out of' a relationship can be 'liked' by so many, the rules change.  Suddenly the whole world (FB world anyway) gives approval of a person's personal lives.  Instead of one or two friends that might have the ear of a girl or guy, offering advice on how to handle the relationship, you now have inserted hundreds.  Talk about complicated!

I have seen this relationship status change affect people.  It gets really hard  when you can see someone move on.  The ex gets hurt and the one moving on is stuck trying to be sensitive to everyone.  Don't post too many pics...try not to say too much on the new person's wall...do I hide the ex?  So many questions!  FB once again has changed the world.    What if we could get past some of that?  What if a couple could reach a place where they realize that it is not the business of everyone else  whether they are in a relationship or not?  What if they could reach a place where they realize they do not have to have the approval of their peers to spend time with each other.  Imagine the freedom of not caring about the stamp of approval of others.  That is progress!

Defining the relationship (DTR) is often more important to outside people, rather than the two that are dating.  It is not really required if the heart is involved, only if everyone else is.  I think that to have surpassed the "relationship status" button on FB is a great sign of maturity.  

What a friend...

Friends are somehting I have always wondered about.  Do I need them?  Do they need me?  Should I even have them?  Is my own family enough?  Here is the thing:  I have a great husband that I consider my best friend.  Do I need anyone else?  I have a sister that I love to talk to for hours on end.  Do I need anyone else?  I have two great sisters-in-law that I always enjoy talking with and visiting when I can.  Do I need anyone else?  I have two daughters that are both wonderful to talk with and spend time with.  Isn't that enough? 

no

We are designed for relationships.    Friends can provide perspective that family cannot.  Choose these friends wisely, but you should choose one or two.  Sounding board, counselor, confidant, therapist, partner in crime- there are so many roles a friend can fill in your life.

Proverbs 11:14  says "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety."  I have learned recently that I need to run things past someone else.  Whenever I do it 'on my own', I get in trouble.  I can only hear my own thoughts in my head, so saying things out loud (or in the case of one of my dear friends- texting them) gives me the chance to try them out before making decisions based on just my feelings. 

I am thankful that God has given me friends like I have.  Many different ones, and each one fills a different  role.  I have shopping friends, ballgame friends, church friends, traveling friends, eating out friends, phone friends, FB friends, texting friends- there are so many!!  I am who I am because of the influence they have each had on my life.  I love each of them.  God sure knew what I needed when he gave them to me!!

How many trips does it take to get a driver's license???

One day off to get so many things done. One day off to rest after being in Honduras. One day.... Only one.
Studied hard, gathered the required items and leave the house around 11:30. Arrive at DPS office just after 12. Take a number please...#55. Now serving # 46. Waiting. Waiting. Listening to others go through the questions. SS number was asked multiple times. Hmmmm...I do not think I have that. Ok. What now? I asked and the clerk said that we could go to the Social Security office to get a form. Allrighty. Leave for that journey and take a number- 64. Should have enough time. Down tothe SS office. Take a number please. 124 of 127. Not too bad. Wait, wait...finally our turn. Bingo! Success! Drive back to the office- hungry, but no time to go back to see if they have already passed our number. Now serving #67. UGH!! Take a new number, go get lunch. #80 this time....hurry! Back from lunch- they are on #70. Going slow. A low rumble of complaints about their speed escolated as one lady kept leaving to perform driving tests. Negativity is infectious. I wanted none of it. Finally it was our turn! We got to the front, spoke with the clerk, and within minutes we were seperated because Hannah was testing. She looks nervous....don't maintain any eye contact....finally done! Score- 27/30!!! Passing!! She didn't drive home, but we were able to finally leave. Whew!!! Can't think yet about the acutal driving exam!

Living life upside down...

Honduras is such a polar opposite from life in the US. Yesterday our teams went into a village to do food distribution. Bags of 2 lbs of rice and 2 lbs of red beans were issued to each home, whether there were 8 children there or just an elderly husband and wife. I gave away all of the snacks I brought for myself (I have not missed a meal and have over eaten- stark contrast to their lives) and hugged lots of children I will never see this side of heaven again. They are so different than our children in the US. No ADHD here...children are well-behaved and quiet. They are responsible for their younger siblings. They tend crops and animals. They don't wear shoes and aren't concerned with video games. They don't know what the internet is and have never held an iPad or iPhone. Life is different here, but they seem to have it more 'figured out' in some ways. Earning a living isn't a priority...living is their priority. Daddy and Mommys don't leave their homes to work in the city and bring home paychecks...they stay home and just survive. Heading out now...more later

Letting him go...

My little Lucky boy died yesterday.

A year ago, we almost lost him.  Because of the wonderful help of several friends and K'Lynn, Lucky was able to live here with us for another year.  He was happy, although he didn't move quite as quickly.  He enjoyed being with our family and with Lucy.  When Macks got here for the summer, they were 'running buddies'- running out the door any time it was opened and staying gone for way toooo long.  He had been doing well, but he suddenly changed on Tuesday night.  We returned from a long evening in Bryan for volleyball.  He didn't move as we came in.  The other dogs ran out to go potty, but he laid on the rug near my bedroom.  I recognized the signs of congestive heart failure pretty quickly- no surprise since his heart and lungs were so damaged from last year.  His breathing was fast and wet-sounding.  He had no energy.  There was some random blood on his back feet, but I couldn't find it's source.  I prepared Hannah and K'Lynn for what the next day would hold.  I told Kyle and he agreed.  I laid Lucky on a pillow, covered in a towel beside my bed for the night.  I prayed he would not be alive when I woke up, but he was.  He had mustered up enough energy to move from there to the dog bed near the TV sometime during the night.  When I saw this the next morning, I wondered if I had made the right plan.  He was still listless, though...

I called the vet and spoke with Jennifer.  She was so understanding.  I know they do this quite often, I am not a special case- but they made me feel very special.  I do not feel that I can share all of the details of his passing right now- it is too fresh.  Just know that I took him there with his dignity intact.  He walked down the ramp from the porch to the car on his own steam.  He stopped to mark our house one last time.  The clots and bloody urine affirmed to me that my thinking was correct.  He sat up in the car on his little brown blanket the whole way to the vet.  He did allow me to carry him in and to hold him as we waited.  His eyes were a little scared at times, but mostly just tired.  Dr. Dewberry hugged me afterwards and told me that I had done the right thing.  She said that she was surpised we were able to keep him alive for a whole year because of the serious damage he suffered last summer.  She herself walked me out to the car and helped me place my sweet puppy into the back seat.  As I took him home, I called K'Lynn to tell her that it was over.  She was sad, but relieved.  

 I met Kyle and Hannah near the church.  Kyle placed Lucky in a hole he dug himself.  I stood there crying, telling Lucky that he had been a good dog.  I told him that if dogs do go to heaven, that I would see him there.  Hannah hugged me and we watched Kyle close the open hole.  The sweat and exhertion was theraputic for Kyle...Hannah and I didn't have that outlet.  We chose to spend the day together and talked about what a great dog he had been.  She was like ointment to an open wound for me- ministering to me though her presence. 

Lucy and Macks are still confused- going to the door to look for Lucky.  I am too.  I know God gave me peace to make the decision, but I still miss that little Lucky boy.  So thankful for the very best Mother's Day present anyone ever gave me 9 years ago.  I loved you Lucky....you will always be the best dog ever, in my mind.

Unpublished words.

I have so many unpublished "drafts" on this blog. So many things I would only want God to know. So many heartbreaks in recent years that I only trust to the unpublished pages of this blog. I know God knows my heart and He knows my need. God, you can fill in all of the cracks. I hope it doesn't take long. Thankful for my precious husband and family. I sure miss the others though.

So many changes...

Life is full of changes. I know this, I expect this, I rely on this. Staying the same equals stagnation usually. Lately some of the changes I have encountered have been pretty challenging. I have spent hours working on a couple of issues that seem to reappear and reappear. One step forward and three steps back. I struggle against unseen forces that I have no control over. It is hard to remember that God is in control. Today I saw a great quote on FB that I need to remember. "God wants us to have a present expectation of something good happening to us instead of constantly mourning over what has been lost". In light of Hannah and Carson breaking up, in light of those 15 lbs returning that I had lost, in light of a lot of things- I need to meditate on this. The verse in Phillipians (4:8) comes to mind: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. I have to let God be God. I talk about this, I preach it to others- now I must live it out again. I know God has a purpose. M sister sent me a message yesterday to help me understand why I have such a hard time sometimes. She said "God made your heart the way he did for a reason. You get very attached to the people in your life who strike a chord with you and it's all God. He has a reason for everything including this breakup. I do love how deeply loyal you are to those you love..including me...;). She is right. I do love those that I love very deeply. If you are in that circle- consider yourself lucky!!  Most likely, if you are reading this- you are in that circle!!

Audra is here!

Andrew and Kim have a baby now. Her name is Audra McCartney Williams. She arrived on Dec 26 at 9:13 am by C-section. She is beautiful...she is perfect...she is here! Her birth came at the end of a week of such sorrow. Kim's sweet mother, Penny, died suddenly on the 19th of December. She had a heart attack. She never met little Audra. She was very proud of Andrew and Kim and the little family they were creating.

Kim stayed strong during the arrangements and the funeral. It is easier to handle a funeral when you know the person had a saving knowledge of the Lord. Doesn't make you miss them less, but you know you will see them again someday. Audra has eased the pain a little, I am sure.

Audra is the first of what I hope will be many children that this sweet couple will have. With her grandma gone, I hope to have the honor of filling that spot any time I am needed. Kyle is as proud of her as he will be of our "blood" grandchildren someday. So thankful that God gives and takes away...this is a perfect example of the circle of life. Love that girl already, although she is only 10 days old!!

You just take care of your own game...you've got enough there to keep you busy!

Ever suffer from foot in mouth disease? I do. I sometimes just don't know when to shut up. Recently, I have had 2 interactions with people that I felt the need to take down a notch or two basically. Not my place, not at God's direction, just my own flesh. Reality is, I have enough going on in my own life and have no need to try to direct traffic in someone else's. I need to try to focus on my own game...there is enough there to keep me very busy. Neither of these situations will likely resolve. I appologized to one, the other one I am just leaving alone. Sorry doesn't take back the hurt or erase the messiness, I know that.

God, please remind me that my life is yours and it should be focused on You, not the short comings of others. I need to let you handle those. You have blessed our family in so many ways, I wouldn't want to do anything that would jepordize that by my disobedience. "Create in me a pure heart" is my prayer this morning. God, please put my blinders on so that I can focus on the path you've set before me. My flesh and my tounge are dangerous when allowed to wander about on their own. I am submitting myself to You for Your leadership once again. Keep me in check.

Dogs and children

My sweet Lucky boy almost died last week. We had just left for vacation and he was in the front yard on his leash. This has been his home for the past few week since he got all tangled up in the zip line in the back yard, almost hanging himself on the porch. Anyway, we had been gone for about 6 hours when Kim called to say she had found him in the front yard, tangled up in the line and almost lifeless. He had been in the hot sun, unable to reach shade or water, for some time apparently. He walked sideways (appearing drunk) and was panting. He couldn't really stand on his own. She got him inside, called us and needed direction. Within a few hours, many calls had been made between us, different vets, other friends, etc...all trying to figure out what to do with this friend of so many years. Our daughter, K'Lynn, was the one left to care for and deal with this very sick dog. Totally out of her comfort zone, but she did an amazing job.

Daily, I spoke to the vet. Lucky was in "ICU" for almost a week. Day by day, the question was 'when do we have to decide if he is going to make it through this or that we allow him to rest?'. I was prepared to make the decision to have him put to sleep, if necessary. He has had a great life, and a long life by most standards. He is 8 and has been a part of so many of our family's milestones. He has lived in 7 different yards, 4 different cities and 2 different states. He has traveled with us, protected us, and put up with us for many years now. He is loyal, faithful, loving, and as much an actor as K'Lynn is an actress. He has perfected the 'shiver'...he can begin to shiver and look so pitiful ("Hey, it's cold out here...can I just come inside?") even when it is only 75* outside. He is social and loves us. He is a part of the family.

On Friday evening, I got the call saying that he would make it and that he should come home on Saturday. Arrangements were made and when I got home Saturday night from vacation, there he was. His progress since then (one week ago) is amazing. He is finally trying to eat. His energy is much improved. He now wags his short, stumpy little tail again. Last night, he played with Lucy, biting her playfully on her legs as she did him. He isn't complete yet, but he is going to live.

I am thankful that God has allowed me the honor of raising both dogs and children. I have learned lessons from each of them. I am loved by both groups, and love them in return. As I type this, Lucy (little sister, as I refer to her), just jumped up beside me in the big red chair. It is dark and she is softly barking at unseen threats...pretty sure we're safe, but at least I've been warned!

Totally out of my control...

I guess I have reached one of those places in life when I am reminded that many times there are things totally out of my control. My son is in Nairobi, Kenya. He has been there for a few days already and I have been blessed (through technology) to be able to speak to him. I have heard his voice, I know he is healthy, and yet I worry. I do trust God to provide for him and to lead his steps. I trust that same God for his health and his safe return home. It is the not knowing things that makes me remain concerned. I hear that he is weary, that jet lag is really making him unable to sleep and that his energy is very low. I know that this will affect his trip there. I am hoping that God has Ryan very humbled right now through this time of weakness so that He can use him in a great way. I have had God do this to me before in different situations to get me out of my own way. That is usually when He has shown up the most. For now, my part in this will be prayer. My prayer for my little boy is that God will cover him with a blanket of peace, with or without sleep. Supernatural strength that only God can provide. I remain thankful for his sacrifice and thankful for his journey. Thankful for him- period.