Allowing things to happen...

I am apparently a control freak.  I am awful at allowing things to happen.  I cannot seem to 'wait upon The Lord' worth a flip!  I try to move pieces around,  force round pegs into square holes, and push rocks uphill on a daily basis.  I know He has a way of getting things done and that it does not have to involve me, but I still persist.  Let me give you an example...

I thought at one point that I wanted to be a journalist.  I participated in journalism events in high school and was ok at it.  I loved to talk, so doing writing seemed a natural extention of that.  I had an amazing journalism instructor that encouraged me in that direction and it seemed to be exactly what I was supposed to do with my life.  That was all well and good until I got married, moved to another school and became a teenage mother all in one year.  The idea of journalism would probably have gone by the wayside for most people, but not this stubborn girl.  I finished high school and got a scholarship.  I was going to go to college and become a journalist- you just hide and watch me if you don't believe it!

I found out that I was pregnant with baby #2 (Ryan!) weeks after graduation.  I figured that I could  get in one semester before I got too very large and pregnant...after all had a scholarship, right?  Money was tight, so I needed to make my own maternity clothes.  I bought yards of discount fabric, sewed and sewed, and prepared to go to college in September.  All the while, Kyle probably just didn't even know what to say to me.  He watched as I continued to struggle to make this whole thing happen.  We hadn't been married terribly long and we were both so young...it is every wonder we survived it all!  I think this is when he coined the phrase (in our family anyway) "let's not try to push any rocks uphill."  He finally told me this just before classes were to start.  I was angry, very let down, and so disappointed.  I had to become a journalist- this was not the schedule I had been thinking of.

Sooooo, I didn't go.  I stayed home and I raised babies for two years.  I spent time with K'Lynn and Ryan.  I dug into the idea of being a mom.  I cooked supper and did laundry.  I was a wife, I was a mom.  Slowly, and withouth me even noticing it, I began to forget about the idea of journalism.  Not entirely...I wrote the "McLeod Doins" column for the Citizen's Journal.  I posted stories (long before FB) about the local happenings...births and deaths,  meetings and church stuff.  Not that different than my FaceBook statuses read today, acutally.  I did not realize it then but God used that time to loosen my grip on the idea of college and journalism.

A couple of years later, I did go back to school.  I went at night, I did it while I worked, and I didn't  go to be a journalist.  God used a few different situations to bring me to where I am today as a nurse.  I tried so hard to make one thing happen, when God knew all along that I needed to do something completely different.  He could see the future...I could only see things in the moment.  So glad I didn't fight it any harder than I did.  His plans are so much better than mine!

So. we go back to this concept of allowing things to happen.  Do you watch for little ways that God is trying to lead you?  Are you aware of  the nudging of the  Holy Spirit?   Can you see the hand of God in your daily life and are you willing to give up your plans for His?   Psalm 27:14 says

Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.  

Ok...I will try...

Be blessed!