25 years ago today, my world was on the verge of a huge change. 25 years and 6 days ago, I had discovered that I was pregnant. 16 years old, working as a cashier for the summer at Dollar General Store, getting ready to start my junior year of high school...all the normal 16 year old stuff. 25 years and 3 weeks ago, I had made a commitment with Kyle at an evangelism rally in Linden, TX to stop participating in premarital sex. I was very sure this was something God led us to do and we had been so faithful to that commitment for the whole 3 weeks...then I realized my period was late. When we swallowed all of our pride, walked down the bleachers to his pastor and made this confession...our daughter was already growing in my womb. As we prayed for God to help us change our dating life into something He would be honored by, the gift He was giving us was already there with us. She was a part of that vow, in a way. So, for almost 3 weeks, we changed everything about how we interacted with each other. More accountability to other people... no 'alone' time...devoted ourselves to prayer and reading of the scripture... we were doing so well!! Ignorance was bliss for about 2 weeks, until I realized that I should have had my period.
With the help of the lady I worked with, we did a pregnancy test early one Saturday morning at work before the store opened. Our manager came in and discovered us, cried with me, and gave me some good advise. I had quickly decided that I would have to quit school and just work there full time...she said "I won't keep you on here- you have to finish school". I called Kyle a little later that morning and broke the news to him. We then began the chore of talking with our parents the rest of that day. So many of the details I have lost over time, but one remains pretty clear- God's hand in it all. From the preacher being beyond understanding and non-judgemnental, to his dear wife Vicky looking at me and saying "Honey, come on in the house...I think my wedding dress might be just your size", God was in control.
I tell people that I didn't marry a preacher, and I didn't. I married my high school sweetheart. I married that really good looking guy that walked into the skating rink one night. I married that sweet young man that gave up his college years and his 69 mustang for our little family since a baby carseat didn't fit in there safely. I married my best friend, who has become so much more to me over the past 25 years. I married a man of integrity. A man that isn't afraid to stand up to a bully. A man that overlooks my shortcomings, and there are so many of those. A man that constantly pushes me in such a gentle way to become a better person that I don't feel the nudge. A man that I would gladly give my life for because I know that the world would be so much better of with him in it. I love that guy... As he has become a pastor now, I have grown to respect him in a whole new way. I have come to appreciate his wisdom and the leadership he allows God to have in everything he does. Having watched a couple of other pastors very closely, his integrity is amazing. I did not see that with the other two. They talked one game, but lived another. This man is exactly who he says he is, warts and all. God is honored in the way he leads our children, our family, our church...in all things! So refreshing!
So, this morning I can't sleep anyway and I'm focusing on how God has blessed me with this remarkable man. I have been remembering the good times and the hard times and thanking Him for both. The first 25 years was rich, but he next 25 will bring things I cannot even imagine. Both new life and death, joy and pain, heartbreak and victory, but Kyle will be with me through it all. Even when the time comes that God sees fit to call one of us home, we will remain in the heart of the other. It is hard to consider those days, but they are also part of this journey so they must be counted.
25 years ago tomorrow, I became a better person. I became a whole person because the other half of me became my husband. I love you Kyle.....
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