Visiting my past...

Recently I spent two days in ABQ.  Had the opportunity to go visit some familiar places like our house at 4305 Barrett Ave. and the Cottonwood Mall.  Also went to my favorite store, Real Deals.  I drove past the homes of friends and acquaintances, wondering how they all were.  I drove past the church we used to attend and was so sad to see it is such disrepair.  I had real mixed emotions while being there.  

Here is the brief story.  God moved us out of ABQ almost exactly 5 years ago.  The change was sudden, painful, hard to understand, and totally necessary.  I left friends I had loved for years and some I had only recently met.  I left a job I couldn't believe I actually had and a house I always wanted.  I left without explanation to many and I am not sure if they still know all of the reasons why.  The reasons are complicated and not suitable for mentioning here, but they were ordained by our Father.  He had other plans, so the current situation had to change.  I always did trust that.

It has taken me all of these 5 years to become comfortable being here again.  I said initially that I never wanted to return.  God opened a door to a job that made this part of my territory, so I have been forced to face this area a few times already.  Each time I visit, it gets a little easier.  Today, though, was different...

People in ABQ that live on the East side feel that the West side is realllyyyyyy far away (for the record it isn't).  The drive across Paseo Del Norte and the bridge that takes you over the Rio Grande River is a pretty one.  I made that trek today and had a lot of time to think.  I realized as I crossed over the river that it no longer hurt to remember living here.  I can now think about the happier times and not be so overwhelmed with the hurt and pain that I experienced.  It was such a freeing feeling that God gave me.  I know He gave it to me, because without His peace, the hurt would have remained as it was before.  I even had a fleeting thought to just drive up to the home of a former friend and let her know that I was doing so well.  The thought of that was a little too much, though, and I decided against it.  I did allow myself to drive to the new church that Kyle had worked to hard to plan.  That was an experience.  When we left, there was only a concrete foundation.   Now there is a finished building.  Again, I know God was directing me because my main feeling was detachment.  Not jealousy or a longing to have been a part of the work...actually the strongest feeling I had was gratitude for where God has us now.

I am so thankful for the hard times we experienced.  Can you believe I am saying that?  I can't, but it is totally true.  I am so thankful for the journey that led us to Anderson.   I am not sure how my life would be without the friends that I have made there, not to mention the old friends we have re-connected with.  God's plans are perfect, His timing is always right on time, and He works the things the devil plans for our demise together for His glory.  Please remember this when times get hard...God has a reason for every tear, every heartbreak, every moment of sadness.  Look for the rainbow after the storm.  They only come after the rain ends.  Hold on...  Blessings.