The story begins with that promise. On a plane while traveling to Scotsdale, AZ, I received this promise. It wasn't a promise made only to me... just read Phillipians 4:19. I had read it before and I knew it- but it wasnt' personal. On this flight, it became very personal.
So much to preface this with, but the short version is this. 16 months prior, my family moved to another state. New jobs, new church, new school for Hannah, new house for us, but the benefit of being there with some old friends. Best friends...these were exciting times! The first year ticked right along... we kinda thought we'd be there forever. Kids were good, marriage was good, life was good. K'Lynn was to graduate from college soon and we were making plans to travel to Texas for that.
I got on the plane early that December morning. I had been with the
company only 8 months- still the new kid on the block. My boss had been out for a little while on a leave of absence. I was attending some training with our regional manager. Hadn't met him before- wanted to make a good impression. I should also say, I hate the take off portion of any flight. That morning, I kinda gripped the arm rests and began to pray for safety. To my left sat a lady, but we didn't speak. Just a nod as she took her seat- fine for an early morning.
Eyes closed...praying for the little things. Safety, as I had mentioned, but many other things. Guidance, Godly partners for my children, health mercies for my family, the courage to continue to witness to my boss when she returned from leave...so many things. Suddenly, I heard this "I am going to provide all of your needs". A voice I heard- a voice without a speaker. Is that you, God? I looked at the lady next to me. She was resting quietly- eyes shut. Must have been her, right? Maybe not. Just be still- if it was her, she'll speak again.
Eyes closed again...wondering if I imagined that voice. Silence. Then, I heard it again. "I AM going to provide all your needs". I am feeling a little like Samuel now...It's you, right God? Speak Lord...your servant is listening...
The promises came then, one after the other- each time with a different word emphasised:
"I am GOING to provide all your needs"
"I am going TO provide all your needs"
"I am going to PROVIDE all your needs"
" I am going to provide ALL your needs"
"I am going to provide all YOUR needs"
and finally
"I am going to provide all your NEEDS"
I don't really know what to think. It obviousy wasn't the lady next to me- she was snoring by now. God- this must be you. God, you are kinda scaring me. What does this mean? Is something bad going to happen? Is it our trip to Texas, God? Will our plane crash? Is something wrong with one of my children? What are You preparing me for?
As quickly as the fear and worry started- God's peace blanketed my spirit. If God promised to provide all of my needs, why would I worry? Faith...that's what I was left with. Faith that God would do just what He promised. My eyes filled with tears. Thank you, Father...thank you for loving me enough to prepare me for whatever is to come. Thank you for making straight the path. Thank you...thank you...
I had no way to know- and couldn't have handled the knowledge if I had known- all of the things that would happen after this day. No way to know that I'd be given a great promotion at work- providing financially for us. No way to know that Kyle would leave his job so quickly. No way to know that his next job and our next home was just around the corner in Texas. No way to know that my family would lose people from our lives that were almost like family. No way to know how much that would hurt or how we'd get through. God knew though. And God was concerned enough about me that he gave me a "heads up" if you will. I am such a planner- need to know all of the details in advance if at all possible. God created me and certainly knew this. It takes me a while to get used to new ideas- this was all part of the plan.
Jeremiah 29:11 says:
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
God is faithful. He is a loving God who is concerned about our day to day. He has shown me things in 2008 that I never could have imagined. Some incredible, some initially frightening, some devestating, some exhillarating- but all ordained by God.
He has provided all my needs. He always has- he always will.
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